Nurtured Mother

A Whole Year Went By

2012-01-09T14:59:00.001-08:00

I didn't post once. Wow. Must remedy that immediately.

In the last year I:

1. started a charter school (now you know why I didn't post)

2. achieved my Certified Lactation Counseling certification

3. attended 10 or so births, taught several more classes

4. I'm sure I did some other things, but the previous 3 kind of take up all memory space in my head.

This year, I'm not sure what's next. I'm waiting on the Lord. I have several options and opportunities, but I'm not feeling led in any certain way at this time. I'm content to stay put until I hear from Him. At the same time--I feel a tremendous amount of power swelling inside me, ready to tackle the "next" thing.

A Glimpse Into Our Life

2011-01-09T16:25:00.000-08:00

Whenever I get a second to stop (rarely does this happen), I reflect on what we do daily, weekly, etc. I really have no idea how everything that gets done--gets done. I also realize our normal looks nothing like what I assume is "normal" for most people.

From the few short years that I've been working as a doula, I've come to realize that women really want someone that can relate. They need to be told that it's okay, that they're not weird. I spend most labors assuring women that yes, flatulence is okay/normal, yes, burping is okay/normal, yes, this sensation/that sensation--totally normal. Who is it that defined normal? Each woman, pregnancy, labor, birth, and baby are totally different. Similar, sometimes, but always different.

In the spirit of "get to know you," and in hopes of reviving my passion for writing on this blog. Here is a glimpse into our normal.

I'm attempting a 6 a.m. wake up--something that used to be normal, but sometime this year it went askew. I'm usually awake by 6:30 or 6:45. Sometimes, Matt is home & wakes up with me--which, makes it SO much easier to wake up.
I start with Bible study and prayer. If I'm struggling to keep my eyes open--lots of prayer.
After 15-30 minutes, depending on when I woke up--I slide out of my pajamas & force on the sports bra. I greet Jillian (30 Day Shred), and begin my workout. I don't like going anywhere to work out, and this is the first DVD I've used that requires minimal time (20-30 minutes) and has excellent results. If Matt is home, he joins me--which makes it SO much better.
Typically, O is out of bed & observes my workout. He joins in for the cool down stretches. Occasionally (especially when Matt is home), O will workout for the duration.
E sometimes wakes up during the workout (around 7 a.m. ish), but I usually get her up afterwards. The three of us sit on the couch and go through our calendar (practice counting & looking at days, weeks, months and year). We also write out our task list for the day. This really helps the kids. They enjoy the structure and will remind me if we forget to do it.
If Matt is home we like to make a big deal out of breakfast, like pancakes or biscuits. If not, it's usually oatmeal, toast, or eggs. Starting the day with big breakfast seems to keep me from overeating all day. Truly, I've noticed, if I eat an excellent breakfast--I can do a small lunch & still feel great at dinner time. O takes enzymes to help him digest his food, along with high doses of A,D,E, and K vitamins. His breakfast is sometimes as simple as a piece of toast, but usually it's toast, an adult-size portion of oatmeal, and a banana. Plus a glass or two of juice. O also takes a thyme oil supplement, fish oil, probiotic, and a kids multi vitamin. The multi is simply b/c his sister takes one & it's more interesting/animal shaped/sweetened with fruit juice than his boring CF vitamins.
After breakfast, we clean up and get dressed. If Matt is home I can sneak in a shower while he makes breakfast. If not, the kids get 30 minutes of PBS while I take a necessary step in making sure my day goes well. I must shower to feel human.
By 9 a.m. we have cleaned up, dressed, and are ready for homeschooling. I do school at the kitchen table. I find a project to keep E busy (watercolors, coloring, stringing beads), which allows me to focus on O's phonics & writing. With a few breaks worked in--including a snack break with nuts, seeds, dried fruit or other healthy option, we somehow manage phonics, writing, math, reading, piano, and we alternate between geography and science. I keep track of what we've done & the time in a day planner. E gets focus time as well, but typically all of her schooling is on Friday when O goes to a homeschool enrichment program all day.
Lunch at noon. My kiddos love PB&J, PB&honey, turkey sandwiches, mac & cheese, fruit, veggies, and turkey dogs. Here's the difference: sometimes my son will eat most of those in one sitting. O can eat a box of mac & cheese (organic box or homemade) by himself along with some apple slices and some bell pepper slices. We also do enzymes (a must anytime he eats).
Free play. The kids are allowed to play in their rooms or outside. I insist on the outside if weather is favorable. Nothing beats natural vitamin D, and it's essential to O's health. I spend this time cleaning.
At 1:30 p.m. we start the process for rest time. We read and pray, and by 2 p.m. one or both kids falls asleep. At this point I don't require actual naps, but quiet rest is a must.
During nap time I do a quick tidy up, and then head to my computer. For two hours, I attempt to get as much work done as possible. Between scheduling, invoicing, and managing my husband's music teaching studio, running my doula business, managing the household and trying to start a charter school--I have to prioritize what will get done each day. It's usually: home (budget/research on kid's/family health), Matt's studio, Nurtured Mother, and then charter school. Having a priority list really helps things get done.
The kids are up by 4 p.m. E watches a video (she's slow to wake up), and O has to do his nebulizer (hypertonic saline) and his respiratory therapy (vest). This takes nearly an hour. O will play games on his computer or Leapster, or simply plays in his room. Sometimes he'll join his sister for a video. This is not his favorite time of day, and sometimes when he's cranky--it's a struggle (to put it mildly). While they are busy, I start dinner. Once in a while there is a request for a snack.
This year we've started to give the kids an allowance. They have to earn it. At 5:30 p.m. we have tidy time. The kids have to pick up all their belongings from the living and dining room, and then they have to clean their rooms. If they do, daddy "pays" them at the end of the day. This has, so far, been a huge success--especially for little E! She even "hides" her money jar. If she finds other coins anywhere in the house, she gleefully asks if she can have it for her jar. She told me the other day she's saving to ride the penny horse at the grocery store. It's good to have a goal.
Dinner is at 6 p.m. Matt isn't usually home. Typically, he's home while we're eating or after. Last year I got into the habit of having it ready when he was home--around 7 p.m. That was just too late for me and the kids. It made bedtime difficult, and didn't leave time for Matt & I to enjoy a few moments of peace together before sleep. O takes the last of his enzymes for the day.
Following meal time is Family Bible study. Before we get started, the kids get ready for bed--pajamas, brush teeth, etc. Matt reads scripture and we sing with the kids.
Bedtime is at 8 p.m. Matt reads & prays with O, and I do the same with E. Sometimes it takes a good hour before the house is quiet, but 8 p.m. is a necessity if I want any time with Matt. We sometimes enjoy a movie or TV via internet. We're working on being in bed at 9 p.m. Matt works super early most days, and I'm determined to get us healthy sleep. Last year we seriously lacked rest and it trickled into every aspect of our lives and relationships. It wasn't pretty.

That's the day in a nutshell. We do school Mondays and Wednesdays. Tuesdays & Thursdays we run errands, go to the library, or go on a play date. If I somehow catch up on my work--I enjoy some time sewing or knitting during nap time. On Fridays when E and I aren't doing school we clean, run errands, or have a little fun (ie paint our toe nails).

Having a schedule helps us be flexible when the need comes. It helps me feel normal.

What does your day look like? What's your normal?

TSA Goes To Far

2010-12-02T14:40:00.000-08:00

I am disgusted by the TSA. This is completely ridiculous. A complete violation of rights for this mother, and it is simply harassment.

http://mothering.com/all-things-mothering/breastfeeding/just-when-you-thought-it-was-safe-to-travel-with-breast-milk-the-tsa-targets-mothers?utm_source=feedburner&utm_medium=feed&utm_campaign=Feed%3A+motheringblogs+%28Mothering.com+Blogs%29

The Diagnosis

2010-10-03T14:16:00.000-07:00

The test results are all in, and a diagnosis has been made. I’m afraid it’s not good news. Apparently, I have had this for many years and it’s gone unchecked, ignored, and brushed off as other issues. In fact, it appears that many of my health issues—eczema, depression, weight gain, digestive issues—are actually caused by this very same problem. It can lead to other problems too—heart attack, stroke, auto-immune disorders, memory loss, and others.

It is also very difficult to cure. There is no pill to take that will heal it. Treating this disease will take major changes physically, emotionally, and mentally.

I suffer from overwhelming stress. Telling you that is, sadly, very difficult. That’s because I don’t like being a burden to anyone, I don’t want anyone to know I’m not as tough as they think, and I am a perfectionist. I take on too much, I am a workaholic, and I enjoy taking care of other people to the neglect of taking care of myself. It’s not just the amount of stress I take on, I also do not respond well to stress. I withdraw, I obsess, and/or I get angry. Pretty much, if there is a bad way to respond—that’s what I do.

I’ve been told by several people that I am intimidating. Not that I’m threatening or mean, but I do seem strong and confident all the time. A woman spoke to me today, and she is one of the few people in my life who was unabashedly forward with me—not intimidated in the slightest. This was remarkable to me. I want to share with you some of the things she said to me.

If you’re perfect, why are you here?

This is going to stick in my head for a long time. She said, “If you’re perfect, than why are you here? You might as well be in heaven.” Wow. I know perfectionism isn’t right or God’s desire for me. I know in my heart that I was made perfect through Christ’s blood—HECK, I even told a friend that recently! I’ve got the words, read the scripture, and KNOW what’s good and right. Try telling my head to follow along though. (If you can’t tell, or didn’t know—I tend to be a bit stubborn & hard-headed.) Her point was to make me understand that I need to accept my own imperfection.

Leaders need to be real.

This woman also told me that people are more apt to follow when they know their leader is real. Let them see you cry from time to time, she said. It makes them feel they can relate to you, and they are more willing to follow someone that is real. This was a novel concept to me. This has never been the picture of leadership I’ve held in my mind. I don’t have to have it all together all the time, and people appreciate that.

Those are choices YOU made.

I’m such a hypocrite. I say this all the time to women I counsel. I often feel as if I don’t have a choice. My mind easily twists things to make me believe that I must or have to do this or that. I mean, if I don’t, who will? Even my GI doc said, those things will get done. To which I responded, Yes because I will get them all done. Yikes. I struggle with saying no. I am getting better, even my husband told me that today, but I still choose daily to take on as much as possible. I carry the load for all because it’s my nature to take care of everyone. Then when it’s overwhelming, I suffer physical pain.

I also choose to RESPOND the way that I do. This will be the most difficult thing to change. Even though I’m getting better at saying no, I’m horrible at responding well to stress. I typically shove it down or burst out—depending on the situation.

So, here’s where I show vulnerability *gulp* and ask for help. How do you choose to respond to stress? Let’s make a good, long list of ideas for me to try. Do you count to ten when the boss is screaming? Do you have a special prayer? Sip some tea? When the bills need paying, and the kids are fighting—what do you do? (Please, let’s also be realistic. I’m a working mom of two—though I’d love a good soak in the tub, it’s not going to happen on a daily or evenly weekly basis. Especially since our bathroom is still being repaired.) Let’s make it an experiment. I’ll give each idea a try every week, and then report back. While you come up with some ideas, I’m going to go do something that relaxes and stresses me at the same time—knit.

Naive Birth

2010-06-04T09:51:00.000-07:00

Just this week I found myself conversing with a woman who is pregnant with her second child. She is considering having a doula, and had questions for me. Naturally, I asked her about her first birth. She told me she had her daughter naturally, but then proceeded to tell me about how she was induced, had an epidural, and a vacuum delivery.

It breaks my heart to hear this mother perfectly innocent and naive about birth--who doesn't understand the difference between natural and vaginal birth. Why is it that we spend so much time deciding what color to paint the nursery, but seem to put seconds into understanding birth? Why is that okay with so many? Birth education is essential to our country's health and well-being. Understanding terms like natural and vaginal are only the beginning.

It's a delicate conversation to have with this mother. The last thing we as doulas want to do is alienate or make her feel unintelligent. I know I make mistakes as a mother daily, if not hourly, and the last thing I need is guilt or discouragement. Rather, I put my hand on her arm, and with a warm smile I invited her to drop-in on one of my childbirth classes. I ask her "Wouldn't it be great to not have all those wires going in your body?" Or, to go further, "How did you feel when you were induced?" Allowing her to come to understanding, and to her own decisions is vitally important. It's the first step in empowering her in the birth.

When we as mothers and fathers choose to educate ourselves on birth, we're becoming advocates for our children and ourselves. As doulas, it's our duty to ENCOURAGE parents to educate themselves--not just rely on the doula or medical professional.

You Have a Choice (A Short Birth Documentary)

2010-05-27T09:20:00.000-07:00

Ta-Da! List

2010-05-12T15:07:00.000-07:00

I am a list-maker. I always have been. My parents recently stopped by with lists I made as a child. My husband found them humorous. Obviously, I haven’t changed much. Even when I was young my lists could stress me out. If I didn’t accomplish what I wrote, or if life didn’t go according to plan—I would be sincerely disappointed.

This year, I’ve started something new. Rather than making a daily to-do list, I make a Ta-Da! List. What's a Ta-Da! List, you ask? Well, it's the reverse of my to do's. It's everything I've accomplished today. I write them as I go about my day. I keep a magnetic pad on the fridge with a bright sharpie nearby. As I walk about the house working on projects, I add on another thing I’ve done. Both the small stuff, like helping my son find a missing toy (a daily adventure), and major jobs like scrubbing the toilets are celebrated as my ta-da’s.

Today’s Ta-Da! List:

Got the 2 year old dressed

Clipped the 2 year old’s finger nails

Went to work for 2 ½ hours

Doctor’s appointment

Lunch with husband

Read to & put both kids down for naps

Answered all pending e-mails

Worked on blog

…And the day isn’t over yet!

Do you have those extremely exhausting days that you feel that you never stopped working, and yet nothing seems to be done? Me too. My to-do list is never-ending and ever growing. It’s incredibly disheartening. My Ta-Da! List only lasts a day, but each day is full of ta-da’s. Which, gives me perspective, understanding, and grace when I can’t seem to understand why I couldn’t get more done off my to-do list. It’s also energizing! Seeing what I’ve already been able to do, gives me hope for the remainder of the day.

I haven’t abandoned my to-do list. I love crossing things off it too much to abandon it all together. However, my Ta-Da! List provides me affirmation and encouragement. Give it a try.

If I Knew Then What I Know Now

2010-04-20T16:09:00.000-07:00

As they say, hindsight is 20/20, and that’s what this story is all about. Basically, it’s what I would teach myself—if I could go back in time. You see, two years ago I made the giant leap of faith to quit my well-paying, well-liked job to be home with my kids. It’s been a roller-coaster of emotions and finances, as well as coming to grips with a new identity.

I hope you’re not like me. I hope that you’ve stumbled across this blog well before making a similar leap. I hope that this will prepare you for the journey, but if you have already jumped head first into stay-at-home(ish) motherhood—there’s something here for you too.

#1 Start Living NOW Like You Will Then

If you’re a two-income household aiming to become a one-income household this is key. Start right now. If you don’t have a budget, make one now. However, use only one income. Write your budget, make your plans, figure out how to live NOW on what you will make then. Take what you currently make, and toss it into a savings account. You’re going to have to get tough and be creative. It’s going to take a lot of extra time while you get organized. Clip coupons, start meal planning, and find ways to tighten the spending now.

A wise friend once said to me that the US government should put a SAHM in charge of balancing the national budget. They’re the best at managing money—only spending what they have and no more.

#2 Find What Works For You

Understand quickly that the way your friends do things—manage their budget, raise their children, run their household—isn’t necessarily they way YOU should do your things. You are not them. Their kids are not your kids.

When I first came home I had no idea what to do. My identity for so long had been a working gal. Even after my first was born, I was still a head-strong working mom—and proud of it! Upon leaving my full-time corporate job I pumped friends for information on how to do this SAHM thing. I am a middle-child, perfectionist, trying-to-please everyone, A-type personality—and darn it, I wanted to get this right. It didn’t take long before I was feeling like a failure trying to live up to standards that didn’t exist, except for in my head.

It’s taken a lot of trial and error, but our family is finding ways of doing everything—schooling, budgeting, cleaning, working—that works for US. So, give yourself a bit of slack, as well as time for learning and growth. Don’t forget that there is an adjustment period too. You and your family will need a bit of time to adjust to mom being home.

#3 This Is A Job

Being home/the primary care-giver is more difficult than a typical full-time job. Your work hours are long. You are not financially compensated. Your clients demand much from you. Your outfits aren’t always as cute, and usually end up covered in either food or other stickiness. Getting out of bed will be just as difficult as before.

How you approach your day is key. You are now the COO of your household. You manage all household and family operations. Get up, showered, and dressed—preparing for a day of work just as before (except you’ll most likely be wearing yoga pants rather than a suit). Use your time just before bed to plan out your day. There are lots of great mom blogs out there that have easy, printable to-do lists and organization forms. Find what works for you. The key here is to take your SAHM job just as seriously as when you were working. If you’re a WAHM you’ve got double-duties. You’re wearing two hats, and will need to devise a way to have balance.

It is a hard job, but it's the best job you will ever have. Two years later, many trials later, I am so thankful we made this leap. Hopefully, with this information you'll be able to avoid many of the mistakes I made, making your leap a leap of joy.

Stay-cation 2010

2010-03-31T13:26:00.000-07:00

This is why I love living in Colorado: Staying home on vacation can be just as fulfilling as going away. There is so much to do and see, so close to home. I'm not even talking about all the national parks and forests, museums and so on available to us. I mean seriously close-to-home. Our home.

We are rarely together at home as a family, and even when we are--we're usually exhausted. Before vacation even started my husband announced that this week needed to be more about what we WANTED to do, rather than what we NEEDED to do. I had to agree. I have a pile of projects, books, and things I never have time to do, because work, laundry, and all the kids' needs come first.

We made a list on our bathroom mirror. (Isn't that where you keep all your important notes? It works really well, you should try it.) It included wants, needs, maybes, and musts. Something I added as priority: get into a routine. What?!? That doesn't sound like a vacation. In previous vacation experiences it always stinks to get back to the daily grind. People say, "I need a vacation to recover from my vacation." I didn't want that. Come Monday morning I want to feel rested, accomplished, refreshed and ready to tackle to the world again.

We've already been on two long bike rides, played in the garden, cooked together (ate all our meals together, at the table!!!!), had a breakfast date, and enjoyed some movies at home. Tonight we're taking the kids to the movie theatre for the first time (a steal of a deal, since I found free movie passes in my coupon box).

Tomorrow starts our get-back-into-a-routine plan. Early rise, early bed time. Our day will be more organized and planned, but we always maintain a flexible schedule. Still, we have lots of fun planned: rock climbing, library, and probably more biking, gardening, and sewing.

While staying at home doesn't necessarily have the thrill of visiting a new place or getting away from it all--bringing balance back to our home definitely has its advantages.

Nursing Cover--FREE!

2010-03-29T13:47:00.001-07:00

www.uddercovers.com has a promotion going where you can get one free nursing cover (regular price $32). The code is "babiesonline". All you pay is the S&H!

Couldn't Have Said It Better Myself

2010-03-28T12:41:00.001-07:00

LOVE this.

It's great to be passionate, but let's not pull our hate into that passion.

Pearls of Wisdom::Advice for Dads

2010-03-14T14:29:00.000-07:00

Dads,

When you come home from a long weary day, here is a bit of advice:

Scan the scene, attempt to find one thing your wife did today. Maybe the toys are all picked up, laundry is folded, dinner is ready, or the kitchen was swept. It doesn't matter how big or small. Thank your wife for this accomplishment--genuinely.

If you don't immediately see something, DO THIS: Thank your wife for not killing your children today.

A little affirmation and appreciation goes a long way.

Busy Mom's Bible

2010-03-09T21:05:00.000-08:00

Recently I discovered moneysavingmom.com. She led me to a giveaway from Zondervan--a free copy of the Busy Mom's Bible.

Growing up in a Christian home--raising my family in a Christian home--we are not lacking in Bibles. We have several sizes, colors, and translations.

So, why would I need another Bible?

I'm stale. I've read through my Bible cover to cover more than a few times. I try to read daily, but it's not always reality. I'll be honest--it's not always a time issue--it just doesn't always seem relevant to where I'm at. Pathetic, I know.

I was so incredibly excited when the box arrived yesterday. I was a kid at Christmas--seriously overwhelmed. I ripped open the box(es), and breathed in the two-tone pink Bible--all for me! It's like I had never read this book before. Like a new release of the much anticipated installment of a certain young wizard's year at wizard school.

It was late when the kids got to bed last night, and I wanted to be alert for my first read. So, today at nap time was my first opportunity. I opened it up to Genesis 1 and started reading with enthusiasm. I got through one chapter, and sighed. Yep, it was pretty much the same as it always has been. Surely, there was more to this Bible. Well, there is.

Zondervan inserted 52 "Thought Starters" within the pages of the Busy Mom's Bible. They're designed to take only minutes, but to draw you deeper into God's Word. It gives you a word for the day and thoughts to mull over. You have the option of going deeper into study & prayer, but even those are quick enough to fit into a busy schedule. The "Reflect & Pray" takes maybe 5 minutes, and I was surprised how quickly I engaged into the thought.

Today's thought was to consider something you been involved in creating. It asked "How do you feel about it? So, what do you think God feels about you? What difference does this make in the way you might respond to him?"

I immediately thought of the sweater I recently knitted for my daughter. It took several months--nearly a year--and I experienced several emotions when it was complete. Relief. Satisfaction. Pride. Elation (when it fit & she liked it). I wanted to show it off.

"God saw all that he had made, and it was very good. And there was evening, and there was morning--the sixth day." Genesis 1:31

My goal is to do at least one Thought Starter per week, and make every attempt to read through my Bible again this year with a fresh perspective. Maybe this busy mom will even find time to blog about the journey.

A Lesson in Frugality: Day 7

2010-02-20T16:12:00.000-08:00

Tonight is pizza.

Leftover italian sausage, mozzarella from WIC check, onions from pantry, homemade sun dried tomatoes from this past summer, on-hand seasonings, and homemade dough (ingredients on-hand).

We've decided to see how long we can keep going on this. While the husband & kids are making pizza I'm attempting to plan a cost-free or low-cost menu for next week.

A Lesson in Frugality: Day 6

2010-02-19T15:47:00.001-08:00

I'm sick.

I have strep for the 3rd time this winter.

It is so very frustrating.

My sweet, and so very awesome husband made my favorite "get better" food--Ham & Bean soup. We had a ham hock in the freezer, and beans in the pantry. I had made chicken stock from our chicken bones last night. We have leftover cornbread, but I might bake some more. Total cost $0, nada, nothing, zilch. Everything was on-hand.

My kids love beans. E especially loves black beans. I love when she eats them, b/c she gets this black goo on her face that dries & makes her look like she has a 5 o'clock shadow. Like a little bean eating hobo.

Oh my, that was random. Yes, I'm very sick.

A Lesson in Frugality: Day 5

2010-02-18T20:51:00.000-08:00

Tonight we had a roasted chicken, rice, corn and green beans. So far, we haven't spent more than $32 this week on groceries. I have plenty of chicken left for salads, sandwiches, and maybe a pot pie.

Two more days left. I'm quite impressed with our experiment.

A Lesson in Frugality: Day 4

2010-02-17T16:43:00.000-08:00

Tonight's meal:

Hawaiian burgers on hot dog buns (b/c that's what we have)**

Rosemary oven-fried potatoes sprinkled with parmesan**

Cornbread

Green beans

I still have a whole chicken and leftover italian sausage. Plus, beans, beans, and more beans. I'm wondering how long we could continue doing this experiment.

**Hamburger from the clearance bin ($2.95) and bag of potatoes were purchased. Everything else was on-hand.

A Lesson in Frugality: Days 1-3

2010-02-16T17:12:00.000-08:00

On Sunday morning we woke up to my precious daughter's cries.

"I so cold, mommy."

Indeed. It was 51 degrees in the house.

The ignitor on the furnace had broke, and we called a repair man. Over $200 later we were thankful for the extra money we had put in savings over the last month. Though, disappointed that it wouldn't be going towards getting us ahead--still thankful we weren't going backwards.

However, it still meant that our budget would be extra tight, and we were in dire need of groceries.

If you've kept up with the blog, you know that our family has determined to reach some goals in 2010. Finding a new way to manage our money is one of the goals. So, we decided to get creative with the menu this week.

I sent my husband and son on a "hunt." Their task was to search the pantry, freezer and refrigerator, and write down all possible meal-making items. They made a great list. I had even forgotten about the butternut squash dumplings.

**The challenge this week would be to stick to 1/3 of our normal grocery bill--about $50, and still make nutritious, delicious meals.

Sunday, Day 1: Leftovers. We ate everything we could find. The kids had beans, noodles, rice, and peas. My husband and I had leftover chili.

Monday, Day 2: Dinner with friends. Our contribution to the meal: A salad made of romaine, napa cabbage, carrots, toasted almonds, dried cranberries, and apples. All found in the house.

Tuesday, Day 3: Spaghetti with italian sausage and caesar salad. This was a menu item from last week. My folks surprised us with a visit & dinner out, which bumped this menu to today.

**So far we've spent just over $30 on staple items like bread. We also took advantage of our WIC checks to purchase milk, cheese, peanut butter, eggs, and a few other items.

We were also blessed by some good samaritans. On Monday morning I found cash in an envelope on our windshield. It's enough to ensure that we have a complete and balanced menu this week. God is good.

Four more days to go. I have no idea what we'll eat tomorrow. I'm thinking it's going to involve potatoes.

My Opinions On Raising Kids::Food

2010-02-11T17:19:00.001-08:00

From my CF posts, you know that food is a big deal at our house. O requires lots of calories, but I want to make sure that every calorie counts for his overall health--not just what affects his CF. E doesn't need as many calories, and she's more prone to eat little meals all day, rather than O's 3 huge meals plus a snack each day. Then there is my husband who disappears when he turns sideways no matter how much he eats, and me who will balloon up no matter what I eat (or don't eat, for that matter). Sounds complicated, especially when you add in each person's tastes in food, but it's not. My husband and I are foodies, and that has made this more of a fun experiment than chore. I don't want to kid you though, there are some days that I actually want to just go to a fast food joint. Hopefully, though, this post will help you avoid those days.

From other posts you know I'm a HUGE advocate for breastfeeding. What you might have also picked up on is that I'm pretty adamant that kids DO NOT have cow's milk until AFTER they're 2 years of age. (If you want details on why, send me a message--or, pick up a copy of The Maker's Diet--it's a great read.) Back to breastfeeding. It's truly the best way to get your kid eating right from the get go. Yes, I know there are many circumstances and situations that make breastfeeding difficult or impossible. However, if you CHOOSE not to breastfeed--you are really limiting your child's health and well being. It's researched & documented. Just google it.

Essential to breastfeeding is what YOU put in your mouth. The same holds true later, after breastfeeding. Like everything with kids, this is the start to a long time habit of your kids imitating you. Your kids are watching you, even when you eat. Your choices directly impact their choices. I don't like broccoli, or peas, or green beans, or cooked spinach, or pretty much most any vegetable (especially the green ones). Sorry to disappoint you. Do I eat them? Yep, and especially when the kids are watching.

We strive for balance. Protein, vegetables, fruit, whole grains, and good fats at every meal. We're not perfect. Yesterday the kids ate cereal for breakfast, followed by eggs and pancakes for lunch, and rice and chicken for dinner. I did manage to get them to eat a few bites of my Chicken Asian Salad (with cabbage, carrots, lettuce, and bell peppers). Those days happen, and it's okay. (My kids are currently eating cereal even though it will ruin their dinner.)

I'm also a very mean mom. My kids must eat what I give them. Even if it means they sit at the table for hours. I'll work with them to find a way to choke down those veggies, but it's going to happen. This has been consistent since the beginning. I think they believe at sometime we'll cave. However, when we give them something new we only require one bite. You have to try it, and if you don't like it--okay. We'll try again some other day. That's key--trying something once doesn't work. Giving them ample opportunity to try different foods helps develop a palate for healthy foods.

One exception that we've made for our kids on trying food: potatoes. My kids do not like mashed potatoes. Or baked, or smothered in cheese, or made into a casserole, or anything except fried and roasted. It's something I'll never understand, and I sincerely hope they change their minds. We rarely have potatoes because of this, which is very sad. I miss potatoes. We've had some success with yukon golds and reds, but Russets are out. I think it's a texture thing.

We love treats and sweets just like everybody. Just like most families it's healthy first, then the sweets. We don't have dessert available every day either. This is something to start from the beginning. We didn't allow sweets until each child reached the age of 2. Yes, even on their 1st birthdays they didn't have cake! (Remember, I'm a mean mom.) O was thrilled with a bowl of oatmeal (though I made him a sugar free muffin), and E loved her sweet potato.

I could keep going on about food, but I'll try to keep it to 10 main points:

Start 'em young.
Be a good example to them.
Don't keep junk food in the house. Make it a special occasion.
Include them in the gardening and the cooking. You'll be shocked how this perks their interest in foods. (Don't give up. O could care less at age 2 about the peas in the garden, but at almost 5 he eats carrots if HE gets to chop them.) When they get older, they'll be part of the menu planning & grocery shopping.
Make good choices when eating out.
Avoid fried and processed at all costs.
When you travel, have them try the local food. (Unless you're in the deep-fried south.) ;)
Be honest. If it's spicy, tell them. If it's sweet, tell them. Talk about what you're eating--where it came from, how it got to their plates, etc. Make food interesting. Tell them about the vitamins and good things in their food, and how it effects their body. (I also like to tell them how hard candy gets stuck in their teeth and causes tooth decay. This back fires when I get caught eating sweets or junk food.)
Create a monthly meal plan, seasonally based. Once you have a couple months down, you can just rotate various meals throughout the weeks in the season. Batch cooking & freezing will save you from last minute take out.
Don't beat yourself up for not being "perfect." No one is perfect. Do your best, and try to have fun with your food. If it's your only focus, you're going to get stressed. I'm betting even the "experts" have ice cream for dinner from time to time. At least that's what I told myself when I had cookies for breakfast this morning.

I think you should check out PlanToEat.com. A friend of mine started this site to help his wife, and it has been a life saver (& money saver) for us. The burden of planning meals, making our grocery list, and searching recipes has been simplified with one easy online tool. The best is that you can share recipes for friends. So, if you sign up--find my name & take advantage of all the recipes that I've already uploaded.

Simple Mom

2010-02-11T12:18:00.001-08:00

I am a huge fan of making things simpler. Life is already complicated enough. I've mentioned her site before, but if you haven't check out SimpleMom.net you are missing out! She has valuable tools and resources that truly do make things simpler.

Plus, she's giving away awesome items in celebration of her launch of Simple Kids, Simple Bites, Simple Homeschool, and Simple Organic.

Alexa's Testimonial

2010-01-25T14:01:00.000-08:00

The following is a testimonial from one of our most recent clients. Thanks, Alexa!

"Tamara’s knowledge, experience and compassion are incredible!

It was my dream to have a natural, drug-free childbirth with as few interventions as possible. But since this was my first pregnancy, I felt uncertainty and wonder about what might be achievable. Since my husband shared both my dream and the concerns about what labor and delivery would entail, we enlisted Tamara and the Nurtured Mother team as another source of support.

My husband and I benefitted greatly from the in-depth, personalized childbirth classes with Tamara and her partner, Kristin. Their recommended exercises, relaxation techniques and nutritional suggestions helped my body get a healthy jumpstart on dilation and effacement. Meanwhile Tamara’s partner, Billie, helped me achieve peace and relaxation with prenatal massage.

Then, when it came time for my labor and our daughter’s birth, Tamara was an indispensable asset who helped both me and my husband focus on our strengths as we used all of the resources available to us and within us—mentally, physically and spiritually.

We achieved our goal of a natural, drug-free childbirth with minimal interventions (the routine buff cap [no IV fluids or drugs pushed]), a fetal monitor for my child since meconium was present when my water broke and an episiotomy). Our daughter had very high Apgar scores, immediately bonded with Mom and Dad and took to breastfeeding like a pro. I have no doubt that our success and wellness has been impacted by the care Tamara and the Nurtured Mother doulas provided.

The team at Nurtured Mother has touched our lives. We will be working with Tamara, Kristin and Billie again when it comes time to have another child."

Detox: Day 1

2010-01-09T19:59:00.000-08:00

Well, we survived our first day. I really like how this plan eases you into the actual detox. Other plans were cold turkey on all things "toxic," which can really make it difficult to keep going.

I had planned blueberry oatmeal for breakfast, but due to the "prowler" yesterday I never made it to the store for blueberries.

So, whole wheat pancakes and eggs. *gasp* I can hear you Detox Junkies now screaming--Eggs?! Wheat?! Sugar?! Let me again remind you that this plan EASES you into the detox. So, today was no meat, no caffeine, no carbonated beverages, no alcohol, replace white sugar with sugar substitutes. We did have 1/4 cup of sugar in the pancakes, but I'm not going for a gold medal in detox here.

Lunch was delayed due to childbirth classes. When I had a break I gulped down some Naked Green Juice, southwest black bean and corn soup, and an AMAZING salad--Strawberry, Orange, and Fennel Salad--that we found on wholeliving.com. That was delicious! Dinner was also delayed. We had church tonight, which meant trying to avoid the large table of goodies set out to tempt people into conversing. So, we came a couple minutes late, and left as quickly as possible. We came home to rice, beans, peas, more salad, and a hot cup of tea.

Matt also made a fantastic sweet potato hummus that made me all kinds of happy. It will be the best snack throughout the week. (Recipe is also on wholeliving.com)

My biggest accomplishment today (food wise): No chocolate. I'm multi-tasking this detox to also focus my cravings inward and into prayer. Sort of like a fast. I'm seeking out God, His wisdom, His comfort, His desires for my life during this time of cleansing. So, around 3 ish, when I always crave chocolate, you'll find me in prayer instead.

Challenges

When we looked over our grocery list we realized it was going to be expensive. Our limited budget meant we needed to get creative. We cut a lot of the recipes we found online, and decided that we'd make beans, vegetables, and rice into an art form.
One of our other goals for 2010 is still live more sustainably, eating local, in-season & from our own garden. Obviously, being that it's the middle of winter our garden isn't producing, and most vegetables and fruits at the store are being shipped from other places. This was disheartening for both of us, and we almost rescheduled the detox. I knew that if we rescheduled we may not ever really get moving on our goals. So, we did yet another revision of the list to somehow make it work--definitely had to make compromises on both sides (palatable detox recipes and finding foods that are more sustainable). I'm happy though that we're doing this now, not just for momentum's sake, but also to prepare us to eat what we can grow or get locally later this year.
The kids aren't technically detoxing with us, but we want them to try the various new foods we're eating. The hummus was definitely not a hit with them. However, they are thrilled with the "simple" dinner we enjoyed. Eden gobbled up every bite and asked for more. I did include grilled chicken on their plates.
Tiredness. Oy. As if I wasn't tired already. I can tell that I'm going to be zonked this week. By 8:30 p.m. I was falling asleep on the couch.

That's pretty much it for today. Matt complained of terrible heart burn, but a papaya enzyme seemed to clear that up. We've both have lots of gas--thanks to all the extra fiber, but that's to be expected. (TMI?)

Tomorrow includes more foods to eliminate, but we're already finding new recipes. We're also planning a family trip to the natural and organic grocery stores.

2010: Project 1

2010-01-08T16:43:00.000-08:00

Detox. We're doing it.

I spent the afternoon planning out a week's worth of meals for a detox/cleanse I've adapted from wholeliving.com.

We've done a detox before, but it included drinking a nasty supplement and 2 months worth of eliminating foods we love.

This is quick, and relatively easy. I'm focusing on the "quick" part. The first 3 days we'll ease into eliminating foods that build up in our system. Days 4-7 we'll be on a mostly liquid diet--consuming a solid, protein-filled lunch each day. If you're interested in the "plan," I'm happy to send you my excel spreadsheet with our meals, what to eliminate, include, or replace.

This detox is part of our family's 2010 "Plan" (I'm working on a cooler title.) With 32 hours in a car over the course of 4 days, Matt and I had the opportunity to discuss the changes and goals we want to make this year, and for the future. We're still establishing strategies and tactics, but we're going to initiate some ideas while we finish the master plan. Doing this detox is part of the health & wellness portion of the plan.

Our 2010 "Plan" includes areas such as: Faith, Finances, Friends, Family, Health & Wellness (ran out of F's), Personal Growth, and Education. There might be more, but that's what I've got so far. I'm sure a spreadsheet will be created soon. SimpleMom.net has an awesome worksheet that we're using. (She's got a lot of other awesome stuff too, so check her out.)

Christmas 2009

2009-12-24T21:49:00.000-08:00

Early in November, you might recall, I made several Facebook status updates about going to see The Pioneer Woman at a book signing. You could say I'm a fan, but that would be an understatement. I had high hopes, and anticipated a glorious evening meeting her up close. Alas, it was not to happen. A huge crowd had gathered, the store ran out of books long before I could get there, and the line was so long that there was no way I could stay to the end—we had already waited 2 hours, and the signing hadn’t even started. It was already long past my kiddos' bedtime, and my sweet husband who rearranged his work schedule to bring me, had to get up very early the next day. I was distraught—again, putting it mildly. I hated that I had wasted what few precious hours we have as a family to drive miles we can't afford—to walk away empty-handed. My heart was broken.

Today a packaged arrived in the mail. It was for me—odd, I thought, despite it being Christmas I wasn't expecting anything. There was a wrapped gift, and a card—the envelope read "Tamara—Make sure you read all of this before you open the present. (Also, if you ever find yourself in the presence of a cat while holding a singing greeting card...hilarity!) Merry Christmas” The handwriting was vaguely familiar, but it wasn’t signed—I had no idea who this was from. My husband taunted that he knew, but wasn’t telling. Of course, I wanted to open it immediately, but my mother and husband told me I had to wait. *grrr*

The day wore on, and by wore on—I do mean WORE on. It’s been a hard ~~day~~ ~~week~~ ~~month~~ last two years. Tonight though, wow, the ~~kids~~ everything was really taking me down. The knitting project that was supposed to be for Eden’s birthday, and now for Christmas, is still proving to be a challenge (definitely won’t be done for this Christmas), and the kids were testing the limits of mommy’s ~~patience~~ sanity.I made several attempts to change my scrooge attitude—attempted a gingerbread house decorating with two kids. I’ll let you imagine how that went (& post pictures later). When Matt returned from work, I sat down with him and the kids for a movie, hot tea, and some snacks. I tried calmly to put the kids to bed. Unfortunately, I was thwarted at every attempt. The angry demon beast that lives in my belly bit anyone who crossed me. I growled and snarled. It wasn’t pretty, and definitely not remotely what I dream of a perfect Christmas Eve (or even a somewhat, just a wee bit nice Christmas Eve should be).
After the kids were ~~settled~~ still screaming, but in their beds, I had had enough—I needed something to make this madness stop. I ran to the Christmas tree, and grabbed that mysterious package. I tore open the envelope (it was in fact, a singing card—Charlie Brown Christmas—if you must know). There was also a two page, hand-written letter. Geez, who takes the time to do that anymore, I thought. This is too crazy. I began to read. It was the story of my not-to-be-had evening with The Pioneer Woman, but this story had a different ending…

“…A few weeks later, a friend of Tamara’s was at work dealing with one crabby customer after another. There were so many grouches, in fact, that her friend was wondering if there were any more kind people left in Oklahoma City. Just then, a cowboy wandered by looking for The Pioneer Woman Cooks—two copies, in fact. As the disillusioned Bookseller walked him over to the cookbooks, she recounted Tamara’s sorrowful tale. When she finished the story, the most extraordinary thing happened: The cowboy turned and said, ‘Well, The Pioneer Woman is my cousin. Why don’t you buy a copy, and I’ll take it too her. I’m headed up to the ranch right now.’ After a brief moment of dumbfounded paralysis she snapped into action. The next day, when she returned to work, the book was waiting for her. Not only had the anonymous cowboy gotten it signed, he took a picture of the author as she signed it!! Suddenly the Bookseller was reminded of something easily forgotten when faced with so many mean, nasty people: most people are kind and some people raise kindness to an art form. Thank you, God, for the anonymous cowboy. Please help me live by his example. Thank you, God, for my friend Tamara without whom I would never have encountered such a kind man.”
I ripped open the package—sure enough, a signed copy of The Pioneer Woman Cooks—autographed to ME! AND the aforementioned photograph! The blood drained from my face, my heart swelled, and I was overwhelmed. I wept and wept and wept. My husband walked in and saw the book, the letter, and me. He rested his hands on my shoulders.

“I’m a horrible person, who doesn’t deserve the wonderfulness that surrounds me,” I said.
“No, you’re a wonderful person, who too often bears the horribleness of this world,” he said.

After that I went to my sweet daughter’s room where she was still crying. I swept her up in my arms, sat down in the rocker, and began to sing love songs to Jesus. Her precious eyes closed, and within minutes she was soundly, peacefully sleeping.
Thank you, my friend, you made my grinch heart grow so big tonight & restored so much hurt that had cut it down to pieces. God bless you, and your family…and that cowboy. Merry Christmas.

Childbirth Education::New Series

2009-12-03T14:00:00.000-08:00

Are you pregnant? Do you know some who is pregnant?

Are you in Northern Colorado? Loveland? Fort Collins? Windsor? Greeley? Wellington?

We're starting a new series of childbirth education classes in January!

What is different about Nurtured Mother Childbirth Basics education?

We train YOU to birth YOUR way, rather than OUR way. By combining the best from various techniques, resources, experiences, and education--we equip you to make the best choices for your birth.
Taught by certified, experienced doulas. One of which is a labor & delivery nurse at a local hospital. Another, a certified massage therapist. All three are mothers (a total of 7 children). We've witnessed and experienced birth in nearly every situation--from natural, home births to emergency c-sections.
Thorough. It's not a brief primer on what to expect. We'll cover nutrition and exercise during pregnancy, the entire labor and birth process, benefits and risks of interventions, as well as breast feeding and postpartum care.
You'll receive your own student manual that will be your resource during labor.
Group classes are only $100--a bargain for the nearly 16 hours worth of material. Similar classes start at $200 or higher. (Private classes are available, at a higher rate.)

E-mail tamara "at" nurtured-mother.com for more information or to register. See you there!

Set Your Mind To It

2009-11-28T10:43:00.000-08:00

Too often I have a client who is interested in natural birth, but also says that she is "okay" with an epidural "if she needs it." Nearly all of these same clients have used an epidural.

On the flip side--those that determine they want a natural birth and pursue techniques and resources to help them accomplish natural birth--nearly all of them achieve it.

In the past, when a client said they liked the idea of natural birth, but were okay with interventions--I would smile and say okay. After all, I am their doula--there to support the mother's wishes and desires.

I have a bit of a different response now. I do still support the desires of all my birthing women--even those who walk in determined to have an epidural from the get-go. However, when I have a woman interested in natural/open to interventions I bluntly say to them that unless they mentally decide that natural is the way the want to go--then it is very unlikely they will achieve it. I tell them that if natural is the path they desire I will equip them the best I can, support them the best I can, and Lord willing--they will have a natural birth. Also, if they choose interventions--I will support them just as fully. However, THEY must choose, THEY must decide what they want.

So much of birth is mental. It's not stubbornness (though that can help). A mind that is focused on a goal and pursuing an objective is more likely to achieve, and even when things don't go exactly as planned--this mind is more easily able to accept disappointment and move forward with the ultimate goal: Healthy mom, healthy baby.

What about you? Did you pursue a natural birth? Were you "okay" with interventions? What was your birth story in relation to your mental choice? Did you have a doula present? Tell us your birth story--it helps us be better doulas, and ultimately helps more women through this life-changing experience.

Entry #7: High-calorie Cooking

2009-10-16T19:00:00.000-07:00

Kids with cystic fibrosis require more calories than kids without CF. In fact, some days it seems my 4 year old requires more calories per day than I do. Which, is probably true.

Trying to cook with his caloric needs in mind can be a challenge. Meals need to be balanced and beneficial to the whole family, but he needs more calories packed into each bit. At the same time, those bites need to benefit his whole body--not just those affected by CF. Oh wait, one more thing--it has to be pleasing to the ever changing, very select tastes of a kid.

Praise God that I enjoy cooking and a challenge.

When O was first diagnosed I was told I'd have to give up breastfeeding. Nope.

We were also told that cow's milk was the way to go. Nope.

They also said to let him eat cake--or, any other sugary food he desired. No way.

Now, our dietitian's are scratching their heads. O is big--even for a "normal" kid. He's never dropped below the 80th percentile. He's tall and lean (just like his dad), and rarely has any tummy trouble.

We avoided sugar for the first two years of life. Sure, he had the occasional bite or lick of a pudding spoon, but for the most part he did not have sweets until he was 2. We also did not give him cow's milk until he was 2--avoiding all cow's milk products (cheese, yogurt, ice cream, etc.). I breastfed O until he was 22 months--that was the main source of his "dairy" intake. We supplemented with goat's milk toward the end of breastfeeding, and continue to this day. He really loves goat yogurt. Yes, occasionally he gets cow's milk products, but it is limited.

I don't really make any changes to our cooking. Yep, that's my big secret. I don't add extra cream or butter. I use healthy fats, and make balanced meals. That doesn't work for every kid--they're all different. I found these tips online, that I'm sure would help some CF kids out there:

(http://kidshealth.org/parent/nutrition_fit/nutrition/cf_nutrition.html#)

Add extra butter or margarine to sandwiches, sauces, and potatoes.
Use dressings on salads or vegetables; add extra oil to the dressing.
Prepare entrees with gravies and creamy sauces.
Add bacon to burgers and chicken.
Add dried skim milk powder to sauces and beverages.
Add extra cheese to scalloped potatoes or macaroni and cheese; order extra cheese on pizza.
Top salads and sandwiches with avocados or guacamole.
Add nuts to cookies, cakes, pancakes, and salads.
Add extra cheese and deli meats to sandwiches.
Grill sandwiches in butter or margarine.
Use heavy whipping cream and whole milk when cooking.
Make milkshakes.
Add instant breakfast mixes to milk-based beverages.
Make high-calorie smoothies.
Prepare calorie-rich desserts such as pudding and cheesecake.
Top hot chocolate, pudding, and other desserts with whipped cream.
Provide high-calorie snacks like peanut butter crackers or trail mix.
Prepare high-calorie versions of popular family recipes.

Of these tips, the only two I like are the adding avocado and adding nuts. The rest involve cow's milk or oil/pork fat. Good for calorie intake, bad for the heart. Adding ingredients like hemp seeds or flax, or other omega 3 fats are a much better idea (in my opinion). Get your kid hooked on fish as early as possible. (No pun intended.)

So, are you scratching your head now? Wondering what to do? Below are meals that my kiddo enjoys--taken from various sources, and some slightly adapted. They're not overflowing with calories, but they're definitely not on the lean side. They are balanced, and it works for us. If you want any of the recipes, please feel free to comment, and I'll get it to you. (I've attempted to give credit to the recipe creator in paranthesis. RR indicates a Rachael Ray recipe.)

BBQ Roasted Salmon with green beans and rice

Turkey Meatloaf with mashed potatoes and peas (Martha Stewart)

Cinnamon-Zucchini Whole Wheat Pancakes with maple syrup and/or fruit (serve with scrambled eggs and bacon for more calories) (A Cramer Family original)

Pizza Wheels (CFnutrition4life)

Pumpkin Polenta with Chorizo and Black Beans (RR)

Chicken and Cheese Flautas (CFnutrition4life)

Chicken Fingers (made with hemp seeds and flax meal) (CFnutrition4life)

Spinach Artichoke Burgers (RR)

Butternut Dumplings (Alton Brown)

Acorn Squash Lasagna (Everday Food/Martha Stewart)

Chicken and Gnocchi (A Cramer Family original)

Grilled Cheese-and-Chicken-Sausage Waffles (RR)

O's daily routine of food is important too. Eating non-stop during the day doesn't allow your body the "down-time" it needs to digest. Also, making sure WATER is available throughout the day (and especially during meal time) is important. Yep, water. Dehydration can trick your brain into thinking it's hungry. When your kiddo says he/she is hungry--first offer some water. See what happens. Drinking water during meal time also helps your body digest food.

Another tip: slow down. Meal time should be relaxed. No t.v., no toys, and limit distractions. Try to sit at the table, and enjoy talking with your kids.

We start the day with a nebulizer treatment, and sometimes chest physiotherapy. Which, means O is VERY ready to eat at breakfast. Our typical breakfast is cereal and goat's milk. Sometimes 2 bowls. Whole grain and low sugar. Other days it's goat yogurt and granola, and other days we have eggs, bacon, and toast (or bisuits, pancakes, or waffles--depending on the time we have). He has a 6 ounce glass of juice (white grape), or sometimes I make whole fruit smoothies (no dairy).

Lunch time is typically either pb (all natural, no sugar added) and jam (whole fruit, no added sugar), or turkey and cheese. Sometimes he eats 2 sandwiches. Crackers/chips/pretzels and fruit (apple, banana, or apple sauce) are accompaniments. He has water to drink. If he finishes the water, and the majority of his food--I'll offer him milk.

We do have snacks during the day, from time to time. He goes to preschool twice a week, and the snack varies there--it seems applesauce, crackers and cheese, and yogurt are popular. At home, we do crackers, raisins, granola bars and similar items.

Dinner time includes a lot of vegetables, a protein, and grains. I'll shred zucchini into pasta sauce, chop veggies super fine and add to sauces, batter, or broth--whatever it takes. Again, water before milk is served. Dessert is available if an adequate dinner has been consumed. Dessert is small. Always small. A scoop. A cookie. You get the idea.

One last thing to keep in mind: Always give small portions, less than what you think they'll eat. At some point we became obsessed that we clean our plates. This makes meal time frustrating for kids and parents. Just start small. There's nothing wrong with asking for seconds, or thirds.

My Opinions On Raising Kids::Pacifiers

2009-09-25T13:17:00.000-07:00

Last night was E's first night without a pacifier. She did magnificently! Of course, that doesn't mean tonight will go well, but I have hope.

Pacifiers. There are some strong opinions out there. My opinions have changed on them over time, but here's where I'm at now: If it works for you, good.

Yes, it's that simple. Yes, I know some say that they're bad for developing teeth, harmful to getting a good breast-feeding routine going, and so on. Yeah, well, if it works for you, good.

I had no intention of EVER giving my kiddos a pacifier. After giving birth to my first, nursing what felt like non-stop, getting SORE, cracked nipples, I succumbed out of pure desperation for a moment of sleep. O wasn't interested at first, but quickly realized the utter joy of non-nutritive sucking.

We had rules, of course. At first, pacifiers were only for bedtime, nap time, car rides that conflicted with meal time, during illness, and places where baby needed to be quiet (church). Then, just bed and car. Then just bed. The final rule: No pacifier by age 2. I have no idea where we got that one, but that's what my husband and I determined was enough. I think it was because we went on a plane ride just before O was 2, we had just weaned him from nursing, and we knew that the pacifier was going to be essential for that trip to succeed.

There was a ceremony. First I snipped the end of the pacifier off. I handed it to O, who was now very displeased with the plug (our word for pacifier), as well as with me. We informed him that he was too big for a plug, that the plug was no good anymore, and that it was trash. We walked him to the trash can, and allowed him to toss it in. After a couple rough nights, he was fine. We did the same with E, and she seems to be handling it well.

My tips for successful use & weaning of pacifiers:

1. Get on the same page with your spouse (& any one else who watches your kids). Make sure everyone knows the rules.

2. Don't let baby have it all day, or control over it. When he/she wakes up, make sure he/she know that it's time to put the plug in it's special place. (Our's went on the dresser by the bed.) This helps baby to not become overly dependent on the pacifier. We also reminded & encouraged our kiddos throughout the day that they were strong enough without a pacifier. (For instance, every time E got hurt or sad she would want her plug. We would encourage her that her plug wasn't necessary--a kiss, hug, and/or prayer would suffice.)

3. Choose your end date, and commit. Don't keep a spare somewhere, just in case it doesn't "work." You're setting yourself up to fail if you keep one.

4. When you're ready to wean, be sure to keep baby active and busy during normal wake times. Get her good and tired, but not over-stimulated or exhausted. Be sure to put her down at her normal nap time/bed time. A good and tired baby won't fight sleep as much as baby with too much energy or one that is over-stimulated. You'll find the right balance.

Some kids never choose a pacifier. Some find other coping mechanisms or a sleeping crutch. Some good, some bad. The pacifier may not be the best option, but--it worked for us.

My Opinions On Raising Kids::Chores

2009-09-12T13:18:00.001-07:00

When I complained about doing chores as a kid, my mom would say "That's why we had kids--slave labor." Of course, I responded with a melodramatic eye roll.

I don't understand parents who don't have their kids do chores, or for that matter decide to wait to have them start doing chores. I say as soon as they can sit up--they're ready. It's a great way to teach them responsibility, and to learn to be part of a team--the family team. So, here's my age-graded list of chores for pre-kindergarten kids:

Sitting Up to Standing Up:

put away toys

Standing Up & Walking:

Throw away your own diapers!

Help put away plastic dishes

Help clean glass doors and windows

Toddlers:

Swiffer the floors (my son loved doing this)

dust

help load & unload laundry from washer & dryer; practice "folding"

help set & clear the table

help water outdoor plants and pull weeds

Pre-school:

vacuum

scrub the tub

put away clothes

empty dishwasher with supervision

feed pets

set & clear table with supervision

So, do you like my list? What would you change or add? Do your kids do chores? I'm interested in what you think.

Meal Planning Made Easy

2009-09-10T14:33:00.000-07:00

Plan to Eat

I've been using this tool for a couple months now, and I LOVE IT! Hurry and sign up, my friends, so we can easily share our recipes.

I'm Choosing Something Different

2009-08-27T20:26:00.000-07:00

Simplification.

We are seeking ways to make good choices, and to simplify our lives. This means making some hard choices, some relieving, and some that are sad.

I'm not allowing life to go on managing me--I'm going to manage it. Somehow, somewhere along the way I let go of our routine and daily schedules. I allowed flexibility to become randomness and chaos. Thus, our current state of being, and my struggles listed in the previous post.

I'm reclaiming my sanity. SO THERE.

(Sooner or later, I'll start posting more on motherhood/kids/babies/doula stuff. Hang tight.)

Let Me Rephrase

2009-07-25T20:37:00.000-07:00

Earlier tonight I posted on my facebook status "There is no "me time." It doesn't exist." It would be more appropriate to say:

There is no down-time, no relaxation, no peace.

There is no rest for the weary, no sanctuary.

There is only do, keep going, one more.

I have been plagued with anxiety attacks this week, and I've been blaming them on the new puppy. Sure, lack of sleep--because of a new puppy--no doubt plays a huge part in my mental state-of-being. However, those of you who suffer from depression probably can understand--it takes so little to tip the scales to send you spiraling downward once more.

I'm pulled in multiple directions at one time, which is devastating to my psyche. I'm not complaining--it is a statement of fact. I chose this life, I chose to have children, I chose to get a puppy. I do this to myself. I always want to do more, add on, say yes to everyone--no matter that my plate is spilling over.

Thankfully, there is one stronger than I--my Savior, my God--who is capable of carrying these burdens. If I am only capable of relinquishing what I think is control over chaos.

Today's Ta-da

2009-07-23T18:16:00.000-07:00

I desperately need affirmations in my life, so here's my "Ta-da List" for today.

Made eggs, while my fabulous husband made blueberry muffins.
Got kids & self ready for day.
Emptied & loaded dishwasher, washed some knives and pots.
Cleaned bathroom sinks and mirrors.
Vacuumed living room and dining room.
Took care of Murphy.
Updated invoices and paperwork for the school of music.
Balanced the checkbook, & paid bills.
Answered and wrote business/work e-mails.
Made lunch.
Put kids down for naps.
Completed pre-visit paperwork for a doctor's appointment.
Rotated laundry.
Made dinner.
Visited with friends who stopped by (with their 4 kids + 1 extra) to meet Murphy.

Things I wish hadn't happened today:

Cleaning up puppy puke while our friends visited (apparently it was a tad bit overwhelming to him)
Shredding my thumb on the cheese grater while making dinner. Ouch.
Children pulling every single wet wipe out of the container while I was making dinner.
Heartburn after dinner.
Husband being gone for 14 hours.

A Little of This, A Little of That

2009-07-22T14:20:00.000-07:00

My goodness this blog has become quite boring lately. What can I say, but I'm a busy lady. Last year at this time I was technically a full-time stay-at-home mom. Yes, I was busy with Nurtured Mother and running Matt's teaching studio, however I now also have a part-time job in addition to my other responsibilities AND Matt's teaching studio has grown substantially.

I regret that this means the time and effort I put into budgeting is s

lacking significantly, which worries me b/c that is a major issue for us. It's a catch-22: We need more income, so I need to work, but if I work I don't have time to budget & we tend to over-spend or not spend as wisely.

We added another blessing to our already busy lives this past weekend. Meet Murphy, our 10 week old Beagle.

He's a sweetie. It's been a long time since I had a dog, and it's definitely been a shift in reality for all of us. No more frolicking barefoot in the backyard or garden. Sleepless nights as we care for a young pup's nightly needs. He's a great pup, though, and is already taking a special place in our family.

I need a vacation. I really want to get away, by myself, and away from everything. A spa would be great. A cleansing of toxins and chemicals. I just found out that I have an under-active thyroid, and they want me to start taking hormone supplements. No, thank you. Seriously, I'm 29--aren't I a bit young for that? So, I'm taking natural supplements to try and get back on track. My blood will be re-tested in September, so here's hoping it works.

I'm currently hiding out in my bedroom, b/c the kids and puppy are sleeping. I don't want to take care of anyone else's needs for a good long while, so I'm hiding. Despite that my stomach is growling. Note to self: stash snacks in bedroom.

My baby girl is 20 months old. *sigh* I'm so thankful that both my kiddos still like to have their momma cuddle them. I don't know what I'll do when they're "too big" for that. I'm planning a "dress-up" party for E's 2nd birthday party. She LOVES dresses, hats, and my necklaces. So, I thought a fantastic way to celebrate would to take her out for a special shopping trip, and when she comes home we'll have all kinds of dress-up clothes, jewelry, and fun things to play with.

O is pushing his independence wings again. Seems like we go through stages on this, just like his physical growth. It wears me, down and out. I yell a lot, which SO doesn't help anyone, and I regret it terribly. I ask him to do something, he says "just a minute" or "do [this] first." Or, he demands what he wants in the most whining loud voice he can muster. It's very frustrating, I'm sure for him as well as me. He's doing so well with Murphy though--they're becoming great buddies. It seems to also be a great training tool for teaching him obedience. Now, O's on the other side of getting someone to obey him, and a Beagle is one of the most stubborn animals out there. :)

*sigh* I have to go tidy the house. The church summer leadership team is meeting here tonight. You know, b/c I don't have enough going on in my life. :)

Evidence-based Practice

2009-07-01T19:47:00.000-07:00

Please, READ THIS!

http://childbirthtoday.blogspot.com/2009/07/shift-has-begun-time-is-now.html

Simple Mom

2009-06-10T13:47:00.000-07:00

I wanted to share this awesome site with you. I've been a reader for awhile, and the content just gets better. It really lives up to its name "Simple Mom." Anything that simplifies my life makes me happy.
This article was just that--a simple way to make great food choices (something you know is near & dear to my heart). I hope you enjoy it too.

Cuban Black Beans & Rice

2009-06-02T13:03:00.000-07:00

I found this recipe at 5dollardinners.com. My version was well more than $5, because I added chicken apple sausages. It still was affordable, and tasted fantastic!

Other changes:

I used 2 cans black beans instead of the dried. I usually have canned beans on-hand for making chili, so I buy them when they're on sale.

I used less onions--1/2 of a medium onion instead of a whole onion.

I added cinnamon--about a tsp or so.

Forgot the cilantro, so we did without.

Everyone--kids included--enjoyed this dinner. I think it would be good with a simple (cheaper) turkey smoked sausage, and it would be fine without meat too. I really think it needs more cumin and more cinnamon. Also, peaches or nectarines would work just as well as a mango. So, whatever is in season, and most affordable is what I'd use.

Dinner Just Got Cheaper

2009-05-24T09:10:00.000-07:00

You must check out this site: http://www.5dollardinners.com/

I'm going to try her Cuban Black Beans and Rice recipe this week, and I'll report my findings.

We're entering into summer, which means nearly half our income is gone. A majority of my husband's students take the summer off, which means 3 months that we get to eat rice & beans, and beans & rice. As I always prefer to look at the silver lining--we get SO much more husband/daddy time. Nine months of the year he's working 70+ hours a week, so that I don't have to work full time. We'll be using the next 3 months to reconnect and spend time together as a family. I can't wait!

If you have a great money-saving idea, or cheap-but-delicious recipe, PLEASE SHARE! We've already pre-paid to take part in a local farm co-op, so we'll have tons of fresh veggies (along with our own garden). Now I just need some great new summer recipes.

I also recommend you sign-up for Mary Hunt's Everyday Cheapskate newsletter. I did about a year ago, and I've received a lot of great tips--such as:

Making your own laundry detergent and household cleaners. Best part--I know what's going in them. Check out: www.soapsgonebuy.com. I'm going to get the detergent kit and soilove.
Re-using toilet paper rolls, and lint from the dryer to make fire-starters for camping (I LOVE recycling and re-purposing!)
Unplugging energy-holders. Do you know how much energy is wasted in your house by power-strips, televisions, and other devices when they're turned off, but not unplugged? What I've discovered is I am also sleeping better, b/c it's so quiet. No hums or buzzes.

Yes, You NEED A Doula

2009-05-23T21:57:00.001-07:00

From the March/April 2009 issue of The American Journal of Maternal/Child Nursing:

A Randomized Controlled Trial of Continuous Labor Support for Middle-Class Couples: Effects on Cesarean Delivery Rates
Mc Grath, S.K. & Kennell, J.H. (2008). Birth, 35, 92-97.

Previous research has demonstrated the positive effects of continuous labor support by a doula for low-income women laboring without the support of family members. The purpose of this randomized controlled trail was to examine the effects of support from a doula for middle-and upper-come nulliparous women who were accompanied by a male partner during labor and delivery. Nulliparous women in the third trimester of an uncomplicated pregnancy were recruited from childbirth education classes in Cleveland, Ohio; 420 women who met the study criteria were randomly assigned to the experimental group (n=224) or the control group (n=196). Couples in the experimental group received a doula's continuous bedside presence and support during labor and delivery. Doula support included touch, teaching, reassurance, and encouragement of the woman and her male partner. Ten women served as doulas for the study, all of whom completed training requirements equivalent to Doulas of North America International certification.
The doula and control groups were similar in race, marital status, maternal education, and maternal age; 78% of women were white and 88% were married. The doula group had a significantly lower cesarean birth rate than those in the control group (13.4% vs 25.0%), and significantly fewer women in the doula group required epidural analgesia than women in the control group (64.7% vs 76.0%). Among women with induced labor, those in the doula group had a significantly lower rate of cesarean birth than those in the control group (12.5% vs 58.8%). In response to a questionnaire administered at 24 hours postpartum, 93% of the women and their male partners rated the presence of the doula as "very positive." The results of this study suggested that doula support has positive effects for middle- and upper-income women who also have support from a male partner, particularly in terms of a reduced rate of cesarean birth.

Commentary by Maureen Heaman

Oh, The Things I Will Do

2009-05-16T15:09:00.000-07:00

This was intended to be my obligatory Mother's Day post--you know, every mom who has a blog must write some sort of post on being a mother--but May has been by far our most hectic month this year. This also gave me time to review my thoughts, and I realized that what I wanted to say almost sounded as if I'm complaining about being a mom.

You see, I intended to write out all the things I will do once my kids are older and/or gone from our home. All those things I used to do, or always wanted to do... like sleeping in.

Truly, my heart was not that of complaining or despairing over things I want or miss. The idea was born out one day while spending time with my all too quickly growing children.

I had pretty severe postpartum depression after E was born, and it is all too easy to allow sadness to consume my thoughts. It takes concerted effort to turn that frown upside down and find the joy.

My little ones are growing up so fast, some days it seems they literally are growing inches before my eyes. A few nights ago my son, without being asked, assisted me with set up for the Your Best Birth event. He jumped at the opportunity to serve and help his momma. He set out chairs, and helped carry tables. He helped his dad get cords, and hauled just about anything his 4 year old body could lift. I was in awe of my little man--his strength, his heart, his attitude.

In times like these I find myself tearing up--aching to hold their little bodies in my arms forever. It's amazing how this kind of love can break your heart and fill it up over and over. Some times the only way to combat the trembling lip is to think of the things I will fill my time with when they don't need their momma quite so much.

Without further ado:

Travel with fewer bags to further places.

Start and finish a conversation in a normal time period.

Complete a project in one sitting.

Sleep in--past 7 a.m., without interruption all night.

Read books with fewer pictures, and with chapters.

Cook smaller meals, and eat leftovers more frequently.

Clean the house, and have it stay clean for more than an hour.

Bend over less.

Kiss my husband without hearing commentary or complaint.

Wear the same shirt throughout the day, and have it stay clean for more than one wearing.

Leave the house on time, and arrive on time to appointments.

Use the nice dishes, rather than plastic plates and cups.

Have more time for rock climbing, knitting, writing, and all those hobbies that sit collecting dust these days.

Visit friends more regularly.

So, what's on your list? Come on, it's okay, you don't have to feel bad to miss or desire those things we gave up or put aside to be moms. It's alright to look forward to doing them again, especially if it helps you find joy in the all to short season that is motherhood.

That's A Good Question

2009-05-02T15:20:00.000-07:00

Someone asked me the other day, "Why WOULDN'T someone want a doula at their birth?"
I have a couple guesses, but honestly I don't know. I've even had women know I'm a doula, seem very interested in me attending, but eventually decide against having a doula.
Various reasearch studies show that women with doulas experience less pain, have fewer interventions, and are less likely to have a C-section.
However, doulas are still relatively new to the scene in America. Many women don't even know who they are, what they do, or how to find one.

So, I'm asking you--why wouldn't you want a doula at your birth?

Your Best Birth--the book

2009-05-02T14:53:00.000-07:00

I received my copy a few weeks ago. I just finished the chapter on doulas (as well as the first 100 pages), and I LOVE IT!

I'll have a full report after I'm finished, but if you are expecting I HIGHLY RECOMMEND THIS BOOK!

Don't forget you can pick up a copy at our book event and live webcast on Wednesday, May 13th at 7 p.m.

Yes, I'm One of THOSE Moms

2009-04-25T20:49:00.001-07:00

Click here & READ THIS

I don't have a kid with autism.
I'm not anti-vaccine either.
I am pro-truth in medicine.

It both saddens and frustrates me when I hear a doctor state a matter of opinion as if it is fact. "You are pushing so hard. This baby must be 9, or even 10 pounds. Plus, your pelvis is on the small side. It's time to consider other options. Let's get you prepped for a c-section."
I chose that scenario b/c at every birth I've been to the medical team has gone on and on about how big this baby must be, and EVERY time the baby has been 7 pounds or smaller. Seriously. Medicine is not an exact science--is there an exact science? It seems that the more we know--the more we realize how little we DO know. I would just like doctors to start being honest. How about "You know, it's possible you have a larger-than-normal baby. We should consider this, and talk about your options or alternatives." Keep it simple.

We've jumped from pediatrician to pediatrician, b/c of the "vaccine issue." I had one doctor talk to me as if I was a bad mother for not vaccinating my kids. I calmly explained to her that we had weighed the options, and chosen what we felt was best for our children. (Which, if your wondering--we are delaying vaccines. Our last decision was to wait until O was 5 years before reviewing again. Mostly, in hopes that by then we'd have safer vaccines.)That apparently wasn't good enough for her. Easy fix: we found someone that doesn't necessary agree with us, but respects us as the parents.

Our decision to delay wasn't flippant or quick. We started researching the moment we found out I was pregnant. Even by O's birth we still didn't feel we had enough information. We held off several more months, especially after learning of O's CF--that definitely played a part in our decision.

Lately I've heard the media and celebrities talking about how important vaccines are--to the point that they've also all but accused those of us who have not vaccinated appear as though WE'RE the cause of whatever outbreak is occurring. (Whooping cough is getting a lot of attention these days. I even saw Jennifer Lopez on the Rachael Ray Show today touting the necessity of vaccines and boosters.) My husband even heard a reporter declare that it is required by law to vaccinate your child in Colorado. Ahem. This journalist obviously didn't do her homework.

I've asked each pediatrician if he/she can give it to me in writing that the vaccine my child will receive will be 100% safe and free from harmful chemicals (like mercury or anti-freeze), and that it will not cause harmful long-term side effects (like autism, or pneumonia--which, could potentially be deadly to my son). I've yet to have one agree.

I could also go on about the greed that has saturated our country--Wall Street, Pharmaceutical companies, Real Estate--is there anyone who hasn't been effected/affected?

It comes down to this: vaccines FREAK ME OUT. We'll find another way to shield our kids against disease, thanks. We'll also be teaching them about the harmful effects of greed--something that they'll have to deal with daily in this society.

I'm Not A Trooper

2009-04-16T13:21:00.000-07:00

I'm not a trooper,
or a saint.
I'm not embarrassed,
or uncomfortable.
I'm not immodest,
or indecent.
I'm not a hippie or granola.
I'm not neglectful of my husband's needs or desires,
and I'm not putting my happiness above my children's.
I'm not gross,
or weird.

I'm a breastfeeding mom. I feed my baby when she's hungry, wherever that may be. I will continue to breastfeed my baby until she and I deem we're done.
There is no need for you to comment, condone, or feel comfortable. It really has nothing to do with you.

I Am NOT Participating In the Recession

2009-04-03T20:09:00.001-07:00

Mark Your Calendars::Your Best Birth

2009-04-03T19:38:00.000-07:00

Nuture Baby

2009-04-03T19:34:00.001-07:00

LOVE this site!

http://www.nurture-baby.com/

Marketplace Maven

2009-03-31T19:15:00.000-07:00

I was honored to be chosen as a Marketplace Maven on Stephanie Hillberry's blog "Deviantly Domesticated."

Check out the story here.

While you're there, check out her Hillberry Home Etsy store. I'm in LOVE with the Spunky Girl Crib Quilt!

A Little Rant on CF

2009-03-23T13:27:00.000-07:00

YOUR BEST BIRTH

2009-03-21T15:25:00.000-07:00

Ricki Lake and Abby Epstein, makers of the documentary, "The Business of Being Born," are releasing a new book entitled "Your Best Birth."

Nurtured Mother will be hosting a book release community event Wednesday, May 13th at Good Shepherd Church in Loveland.

This is a FREE event! We'll be participating in a LIVE webcast Q&A with Ricki and Abby, and you'll have the opportunity to purchase the book at the event. You'll also enjoy refreshments while browsing the various services and resources available in Northern Colorado for new and expecting mothers. We're inviting doulas, midwives, other medical professionals, as well as various retailers to participate in this event. You won't want to miss it! More details will be coming soon.

Please forward this information to anyone you know that is expecting. Hope to see you there!

Book Synopsis:YOUR BEST BIRTH is an empowering childbirth guide packed with crucial advice from medical professionals, delivered in a down-to-earth, engaging, and honest voice. Co-authors and filmmakers of acclaimed documentary "The Business of Being Born," Ricki Lake and Abby Epstein reevaluate the pregnancy process, renew expectant mothers confidence, and place the control back where it belongs: with parents-to-be.The national C-section rate is at an all-time high of 31%, and, incredibly, despite its cutting-edge technologies, the US still maintains one of the worst infant-mortality rates worldwide. Moms-to-be are left feeling powerless, as their instincts are replaced by drugs and medically unnecessary procedures.

In YOUR BEST BIRTH, Ricki Lake and Abby Epstein inspire women to take back the birth experience with:- A look at both the positive and negative effects of epidurals, Pitocin, and other drugs and interventions- The pros and cons of induction versus allowing your labor to progress naturally- A truthful perspective on our country?s C-section rate- Inspirational, never-before-told birth stories from respected celebrities including Cindy Crawford, Laila Ali, Kellie Martin, and Melissa Joan Hart.

Quotes about Your Best Birth:
"YOUR BEST BIRTH is a godsend. The information is accurate and eye-opening. A must-read for all women who want to experience an empowering and safe birth!"--Christiane Northrup, MD, author of The Secret Pleasures of Menopause (Hay House, 2008), The Wisdom of Menopause (Bantam, revised 2006), Women's Bodies, Women's Wisdom (Bantam, revised 2006), and Mother-Daughter Wisdom (Bantam, 2005)
"Abby Epstein and Ricki Lake have taken a wonderful and constructive approach to ensuring an optimal birthing experience. Their language creates a 'climate of confidence' for pregnant women and their families, who must make key decisions about where, how and with whom to give birth in a health care system often unresponsive to our needs. This book is like a good friend giving wise counsel." --Judy Norsigian, co-editor of Our Bodies, Ourselves: Pregnancy and Birth and Executive Director, Our Bodies Ourselves
"Pregnancy is a miracle, but it does present some big decisions. This loving book will help you make those decisions in a way that honors and supports the natural wisdom of your body." --Harvey Karp, MD, FAAP, creator of The Happiest Baby on the Block DVD/book
"The beginning of the love affair with your child starts here. This book makes planning your birth fun and easy. A must read for every expectant parent." _ --Louann Brizendine, M.D., Founder and Director, Women's Mood and Hormone Clinic, UCSF; and author of The Female Brain

Childbirth Basics

2009-03-08T09:29:00.003-07:00

If you're in the Northern Colorado area (Loveland, Greeley, Windsor, Fort Collins, and surrounding communities), we are offering childbirth education classes this spring.

Nurtured Mother Childbirth Basics

Prepare for labor & birth.
Build confidence to birth naturally.
Be informed to make critical decisions.

Instructors are experienced doulas, a registered nurse, and mothers. We walk you through preparing your body during pregnancy for labor and birth, give you practical and key resources to birth naturally, and take you beyond birth to prepare for breastfeeding and motherhood. We'll also assist you in building an effective birth plan, and you'll receive a copy of "Babywise" by Gary Ezzo.

For more information, or to register, contact Tamara at 970.217.0262 or tamara@nurtured-mother.com

Catching up again

2009-02-25T14:36:00.001-08:00

Whew! It's been a busy few weeks. I started a fantastic new job, which I absolutely love for so many reasons, and I got a new phone that has so many features I'm surprised when it actually rings & I can talk on it too! ;)
My job at The Tenfold Collective is really many different jobs--from answering phones and filing to assisting with marketing and events. So, I get to dabble in many things I enjoy. Most of my time this past few weeks has been spent getting everyone's calendars and projects organized. I love this. I love the details. We're still working on an official title. Today we thought of "Office Genius" and "Genius Coordinator." The "genius" fits with the theme of our "Interactive Genius" and "Marketing Genius."
The people I work with are all exceptionally talented and passionate about what they do, and they're great people--we enjoy working together, which makes such a difference on a workday when you were up all night with your babies. I look forward to being there each day.

The kids are doing well with the transition. O never really likes or accepts change too well, but after nearly 3 weeks he's starting to come around. He still has one or two days where he's a bit clingy when I leave, sometimes tearful, but it's getting better. E is always clingy when I return, but she's a doll when I leave. She blows kisses, waves, and sometimes walks me to the door.

I've been teaching childbirth classes this month too. I really LOVE IT. I plan to have this continue throughout the year, 6 weeks on with maybe 2 weeks off or so. Kristin Holt has partnered with me, and brought her extensive medical knowledge to class. She is a wealth of information, and a really gifted teacher.

In other news--my husband had applied for a wonderful worship ministry position at a local church. We had such high hopes about this job, but we found out today that he won't be getting it. I am really bummed about this. I am earnestly praying for a career for my husband that uses his gifts and passion for music, and also a position that meets all of our financial needs. We'd also like to stay here--we really like our home and our community.

Tidbits

2009-02-07T13:31:00.000-08:00

I start my new job on Monday at The Tenfold Collective. It's the weirdest thing--normally I would be overwhelmed with anxiousness and excitement, but I'm very peaceful about it. I am thrilled and looking forward to working, but I don't feel stress. Too cool. (Plus, I was able to schedule a haircut before my first day, so that always makes me feel great!)

Lately I feel that I'm coming into my own skin, becoming much more acceptive of who I am. I announced to Matt a few nights ago that I'm the type of girl who tucks her hair behind her ears and scrunches her sleeves up--and I'm okay with that. Okay, that sounds odd (that's what Matt said), but had you been living in my head the last 28 years you'd know that I argue with myself daily about those things and others. I'm constantly telling myself to stop tucking & scrunching. Why? Somewhere during life I told myself it wasn't okay for whatever reasons. So, if you see me tucking my hair behind my ears and scrunching my sleeves up--just smile.

Speaking of smiling--I got called for jury duty for the first time!! I'm so excited. I hope they pick me! In college I went to trials for my law classes (back in the day when I planned to go to law school). I had such a good time that I kept going FOR FUN! (Yes, I'm a freak. A hair tucking, sleeve scrunching, jury duty loving, FREAK, but hey--I'm okay with that. ;)

What Not to Say...Part 2

2009-01-31T19:29:00.001-08:00

I've thought of more things you shouldn't say to a woman who doesn't have kids:

11. Your (sister/brother/cousin/friend in Iceland) already has [insert # of kids here], when are you going to finally have kids?

12. "By now your mother/I/some other older woman had [insert the number of kids her amazingly fertile womb was able to procreate] babies."

13. "My husband just breathes/walks near me/we just talk about kids and we get pregnant."

14. "If you can't get pregnant the way God intended, then you aren't meant to have children." Whether or not that's true, or whether or not you believe it to be true--HOLY CRAP NEVER SAY THAT!

I think I should also include my list of responses:

"Kids? We're not even having sex yet."
“Would you like to see our charts/schedules/temperatures?”
“Way to be fertile!"
“Whenever the good Lord gives us one. Thanks for asking.”

I know people mean well, and I'm guilty of saying many of the things I've listed (plus some really lame things to women who've just miscarried). We're human and we make mistakes even when we're trying to do good. Hopefully we'll learn from our mistakes. It's comforting to me to know that my God can heal all wounds, and one day we won't feel this pain. We'll be surrounded by the babies we longed for and the babies we lost.

The Best of Intentions

2009-01-31T15:58:00.001-08:00

This is probably the most personal posting I've ever written on this blog. While most folks find me outgoing, extroverted, loud--pick your type A feature--truth be told I'm a private person who worries a lot about what other people think.

The day we learned O's CF test came back positive was traumatic. We had been assured and told over and over that the likelihood that he had CF was near-impossible--after all, he was so big. My husband was working when I got the phone call. I called my husband, who could barely understand me through the crying and blubbering. Of course, he came home. Before he could leave he needed to tell his boss why he was leaving. His boss was a friend, and someone who also attended our church. Who promptly--with the best of intentions--called his wife. He also told another guy on the job--another member of our church, who, I believe, also made a call or two. Within minutes the majority of the church knew. Matt hadn't even made it home before our phone was ringing off the hook.
We never had a chance. No time to talk, to discuss, to process. I felt exposed and humiliated, and that my child was being attacked. I had a brief few minutes of sadness before it quickly turned to anger. What made this worse--someone from the church called our family members BEFORE we could. Wrong information was shared, and assumptions were made. Our pastor, whom we weren't close with or felt comfortable with, came to our house--without calling just moments after Matt got home. By now, I'm livid--I pounced. Before he could knock I flung the door open, and with fury called him out on the behavior of the so-called "prayer chain" (more like gossip grapevine). His response--they all had good intentions. The pathway to hell my friends.

The only thing Matt and I had decided during our phone call was to NOT tell everyone until we had time to process and understand. We thought we could tell folks on our time--more on a "need to know" basis. I confronted of few of those who instigated the gossip, and I actually received one very heart felt apology. The others told me that it was meant with good intentions, or that it was God's will.

We left this church a couple months later in large part because of this experience. I feel betrayed, and that I could no longer trust this group of people. I know that even though I've denied it to myself and others, I'm still angry. I feel robbed of a moment that I needed to be able to help me accept and deal with what was happening. I need to grieve, and instead I'm filled with anger. Or, maybe I'm using anger to keep myself from grieving.

Cool Sites, Free Stuff

2009-01-29T12:51:00.000-08:00

I really need to tell you about MyPoints.com. I signed up for this in college, and the rewards have been plentiful. Once you sign up you'll start receiving daily emails--warning, sometimes you'll receive SEVERAL in one day. They're ads based on your interests. At the end of the ad there is a link--click it--receive 5-10 points (varies from ad to ad). You get 5-10 points for reading the ad. However, if you take advantage of the ad you'll get LOTS more points (hundred or even thousands).
I have taken advantage of a handful in the past 10 years, but the majority of my accumulated points have come from just reading ads and completing surveys. You also receive points from referring friends too, so if you're interested--please email me!
Okay, so once you have the points, you can redeem them for a plethora of goodies on their site--mostly gift cards to about any store you can think of. We've used our points (my husband is signed up too) to help purchase Christmas gifts, pay for groceries or eating out, and for home improvement. It really doesn't take long to accumulate enough points to start redeeming, and seriously, it doesn't take long to scroll through an ad.

Every so often I get an offer via MyPoints for something really cool, like today: http://www.shop4freebies.com/
Oh. My. Word. Who doesn't like free stuff? We have a motto in this family: cheap is good, FREE IS BETTER. This site links you to hundreds of other sites to get FREE STUFF--free food samples, cleaning supplies, health items, and more. I just completed a few forms for a handful of items, PLUS I got 5 points for MyPoints.

Simple Mom

2009-01-26T19:59:00.000-08:00

I just found a great site that you have to check out: http://simplemom.net/
Be sure to check out the downloadable forms like the preschooler's chore chart. We just printed it today & put it to work. My 3 year-old eagerly helped clean up after dinner. (I haven't offered him monetary gain yet, just the joy of stickers--he likes one on his shirt & one on the chart.)
I can't wait to try out her Daily Docket and other lists and ideas!

Women, Women, Women

2009-01-21T13:59:00.000-08:00

Why do we treat each other in such hurtful, harmful ways?
Why do we...

Treat women without children as if they have no knowledge or understanding of children
Judge working moms as if they hate their children, or are so bad off they HAVE to work
Judge stay-at-home moms as if they lack ambition or intelligence
Criticize each other's decisions, when we're all just doing the best we can
Sabotage each other when someone might get something better than ourselves, instead of rejoicing that they won't have to go through what we suffered through
Put down one another with passive agressive comments

We ARE better than that, we CAN do better, we MUST do better.

Guess What!?!?!

2009-01-20T08:38:00.000-08:00

When it comes to staying at home or working full time, the world is not black and white. You have many choices, and you can even create your own.
You don't have to justify your decisions or reasoning to follow God and your heart to ANYONE.
You CAN afford to stay at home, if you want. It might take a lot of time and struggle, but it CAN happen.
I am an imperfect person, and so are you! I know it's hard to believe and hard to accept, but it's true.

Just some things I'm learning, so I thought I'd share.

What Not to Say to A Woman Who Doesn't Have Kids

2009-01-19T19:25:00.001-08:00

So, when are you going to have kids?
Are you catching the bug/itch?
Don't you want to have kids?
Why don't you have a baby yet?
We weren't even trying, and we got pregnant.
[Insert any complaint about being pregnant or having a baby here.]
We had sex once and got pregnant.
It will happen in God's timing.
How many kids do you plan to have?
You haven't been trying for that long yet. Give it time.

Whether or not this woman is struggling with infertility, remember:

It's none of your business.
You don't understand what she's going through (it's different for each woman).

What you should say:

If you need someone to listen, I will.
Can I pray for you?

If you are struggling with infertility--this book helped me: "Moments For Couples Who Long For Children" by Ginger Garrett. Oh, and if you need someone to listen, I will. And, I am praying for you.

A New Diet

2009-01-19T19:11:00.001-08:00

I lost four pounds yesterday. Yes, four. In one day. Pretty cool, right?

WRONG. Food poisoning. Glory be, the worst kind of sickness. I couldn't hold down water. We (yep, my husband was sick too) spent Sunday laying in bed, the couch, the floor--only getting up if we absolutely had to. Our poor kiddos spent the day in their pajamas eating Cheerios. I really don't know if we actually fed them 3 solid meals or not. Matt wasn't quite as bad off as me (he had the steak instead of the fish/seafood dish), so he did the majority of caring for the kiddos.

I was really concerned that the lack of food & water would lead to a lack in breastmilk production, and although I definitely had a decrease--we seem to be fine today. It took most of the day, but my appetite came back.

Today I met and chatted with Stephanie Hillberry. She asked to interview me for her Marketplace Mavens. Had I been more clear-headed I probably would have postponed this conversation. I know I lost my train of thought more than once, and felt like passing out a few times--should make for an interesting article. HA! Seriously, check out her website & blog--she's a smart lady with great ideas. Thanks, Stephanie!

You thought I had forgotten...

2009-01-12T21:12:00.000-08:00

Didn't you?

Well, it's been 90 days. How'd you do? Me, well, yeah I learned a few things:

Never start an exercise program just before major holidays.
It's better to create a real workout "plan" other than "just do something, anything, everyday."
Small baby steps are necessary when trying to create new habits.

I was doing pretty good for the first few weeks, but as the madness of the holidays approached (and let's be honest--the incredible food) I just didn't keep up like I had hoped. So, what's next?

I'm thinking up a plan, making goals--small, baby step-like goals--and looking at my calendar for a realistic idea of what, when, and how. I'm not giving up. The days I did work out, even a little bit, there was a definite improvement in my energy level.

I did find things that worked for me:

I enjoy jumping on a mini-trampoline when I can't go outside.
Working out while watching favorite tv shows on my computer (while the kiddos are sleeping) makes the workout seem quick & easy.
Typically, this worked best when my husband was working late. Nap time is valuable work time/quiet time for me.
Involving the kiddos in some active play time (i.e. chasing them around the living room--man, I'm so ready for spring) was a kick-butt exercise that also wore them out. Those two little boogers can really run.

I hope you did well, and if you didn't do anything--there's always tomorrow. Good night.

Nurtured Mother: Childbirth Basics

2009-01-09T09:47:00.000-08:00

prepared confident informed

Prepare for labor & birth.

Build confidence to birth naturally.

Be informed to make critical decisions.

CHILDBIRTH BASICS

birth education

Sundays, Feb. 8-Mar. 15

7:15 to 8:45 p.m.

Good Shepherd Church

3429 North Monroe in Loveland, CO

Cost: $100*

Includes student manual, and a copy of "Babywise" by Gary Ezzo.

For more information, and to register: Contact Tamara at 970.217.0262 or email tamara@nurtured-mother.com

*Minimum of 4 mothers required.

I Want Another Baby

2009-01-08T20:54:00.000-08:00

I feel aching inside my womb to be filled with another little spirit. I yearn for pregnancy, labor, and birth. I fantasize of kissing little fingers, cuddling a wee babe, and breathing in the sweet smell of a newborn.

Of course, I can say this right now because my two toddlers are sleeping right now. The house is finally quiet, and I'm enjoying a few moments by myself before my husband gets home. If you ask me during the day if I want more children I would probably laugh at you.

You see I have these bizarre woman hormones--crazy, freaking, hormones that make me want babies, forget about midnight feedings, brush off the worst kind of physical pain as a walk in the park, and ache to rub a round pregnant belly.

This is why I put my husband in full control of our reproductive decision-making. (He has vetoed anymore kiddos--primarily because of my tendency to attempt death by bleeding out after each birth.) He has, ahem, "nipped" it in the bud--so to speak. So, no more babies. It was definitely the right decision for us, but I wish I could turn off these hormones that scream for me to procreate.

What's the Point

2009-01-03T12:40:00.000-08:00

I've been holding back writing on my blog. I have so much going on in my life right now, and so many thoughts rushing through my head that every time I sit down to write I can't single out one voice amongst the many.
I've also been debating what this blog is for--is it to help promote Nurtured Mother? Should I only write things pertaining to motherhood, birth, and pregnancy? I don't think that was my original intention, but I think I created that rule somewhere along the road.
Recent struggles with my relationships have also halted my speech. I'm so afraid to offend someone, or do further damage that I've shut up completely. I started this blog to get out all the things going on with me, and yet now I'm feeling confined. It's my own fault, but I'm not sure how to get out or if I even should.

Maybe you can help me--my few readers out there. (Are you there?) Here are a list of topics that I have on a sticky on my monitor. What do you want to read?

Personal stories in my life. Relationships, raising kids, money struggles, transitioning from working mom to SAHM to WAHM on what feels like a daily basis, faith, etc. etc. etc. All the humor, heartache, and happiness life brings.
CF related issues--we just attempted a clinical trial.
Food--all my cooking adventures
Doula/Labor & Birth/Pregnancy info
other suggestions?

Here's something I just started--call it a "New Year's Resolution." Instead of writing To Do lists--something I'm notorious for writing--I'm writing TaDa lists. What's a TaDa list, you ask? Well, it's the reverse of my to do's. It's everything I've accomplished today. I write them as I go about my day. I have my regular magnetic pad on the fridge with a bright sharpie nearby. As I walk about the house working on projects, I add on another thing. Even the small stuff like helping O find a missing toy (a daily adventure). Though I enjoyed crossing items off my To Do lists, it was always disheartening to see what was left. Plus, it was ever-growing with more to do. My TaDa list only lasts a day, each day is a new TaDa. Some days, I feel accomplished even if only one thing makes it to the list. Try it, you might like it.

Failure to Progress: Dystocia

2008-12-16T12:31:00.000-08:00

From my experience, dystocia, or failure to progress during labor is becoming more and more common.
A recent Danish study was released that attempts to answer why dystocia occurs. You can read the study here. If you're not into reading all the medical jargon, here's my summary:

From this study, women who on admission to the delivery ward that have not dilated past 4 cm, and have a baby that has not descended far enough to thin and spread the cervix were more likely to be diagnosed with dystocia. There also was some evidence that a large baby played some part in dystocia, but it was minor. (Personal side note: Since our bodies are all different, large for one women, could be small to the next. So, not only is it difficult for this study to determine whether or not a large baby could cause dystocia, but it's also very difficult to estimate a baby's birth weight. Therefore, assuming that a women is not capable of a "normal" vaginal birth b/c of baby's weight is nearly impossible.) Finally, the use of epidurals was observed to be associated with the diagnosis of dystocia.

Lack of descent had a strong association with dystocia along with poor head-to-cervix contact, and often led to c-section.
"Descent of fetal head is correlated to dilatation of the cervix, and cervix dilatation <>Epidural analgesia had the strongest association with dystocia among the risk indicators assessed. In total 71.2% of women who were treated with epidural analgesia were diagnosed with dystocia. A similarly strong association between dystocia and epidural analgesia was reported from a population-based study of 106,755 deliveries without induction and with durations of delivery <>Alehagen et al. found that women who received epidural analgesia had experienced more fear, but not more pain, before the administration of epidural analgesia than did women who did not receive epidural analgesia [41] and fear may prolong duration of labour [42]. Recent reviews come to the conclusion that epidural analgesia appears to prolong labour's second stage and prompt more use of oxytocin [25-27]. Although we excluded from the analyses those who were treated with epidural analgesia after being diagnosed with dystocia, reverse causation is still a possible explanation of the association we find. If a need for pain relief or fear of pain are among the clinical precursors of dystocia, epidural analgesia could be part of the mechanism leading to dystocia." [Emphasis added.]

The conclusion of this study is that it provides evidence of an increased risk of dystocia for women who, at admission to the hospital, have a cervix dilation < 4 cm, the cervix is tense with a thick lower segement, and that there has been poor contact between the fetal head and cervix. This could even be a significant predictor of dystocia, but more studies should be done. It is also clear from these observations that there is a great association between the use of epidural analgesia and the increased risk of dystocia, and it could have a causal explanation.

The Business of Being Born

2008-12-10T14:10:00.001-08:00

On a budget

2008-12-09T06:11:00.000-08:00

Obviously, when I left my job in April we lost a significant part of our income. The last 8 months has been a major transition (that's putting it mildly), but it has also been a marvelous time of learning. Never before have I had the time (or reason) to really learn how to budget and how to spend wisely.
I've come across a couple awesome websites:
www.mint.com
This site has been invaluable to us in creating our budget. Everyone kept telling us to use paper envelopes, or at most would have us fill-in a spreadsheet (something we've done for years, but it still didn't help us get out of debt). Mint.com is automatic, online, and easy-to-use. It doesn't have a capability of deducting our budget from our income, but I can do that easily in Excel. I love that it sends you e-mail alerts or texts if you're getting close or go over your budget. It also alerts you to bills that need to be paid. I.Love.It.
www.ynab.com
This guy has good, simple advice. He breaks it up into 10 emails/1 per day. It's really helped my husband and I talk about things we didn't even know we needed to talk about. Plus, it's really changed my perspective on the budget. It's not something I dread anymore.

With Appreciation

2008-11-24T13:39:00.001-08:00

In the spirit of the season, a few things I appreciate:

My husband's band members and other musicians who say to me "Thanks for letting us "borrow" your husband," or "Thank you for allowing Matt to play tonight." Though it's really a joy and pleasure to hear my husband play, and I don't really mind when he's gone to perform or rehearse (okay, at least not all of the times he's performing or rehearsing)--it's really nice that the other "guys" recognize my part in making it happen.
Hand-me-downs. I'm definitely not a shop-a-holic or a clothes maniac by any stretch of the imagination. I do like new stuff from time to time, but I really enjoy hand-me-downs. For myself & especially my growing-too-quickly kiddos. Why buy something new that they'll grow out of in just a few months? We've been blessed by the Sanders family with clothes for our son for the past 2 years or more. They've given him so much that we usually only buy one or two outfits per season. They've got awesome taste too, and O has had some really cute outfits.
Breastfeeding. I love nursing my babies. It ends all too quickly.
My church family that has taken care of us throughout this recent financial struggle--without question, without embarassment, without judgement. We definitely don't deserve what they do for us, but they continue to love on us and provide for our needs.

Really, this post could go on and on. However, with the crying baby I'm listening to I feel like I'm at the Academy Awards, they've just turned on the "get off the stage" music, and I'm trying to remember everyone to thank b/c my dress didn't have a pocket for the speech I prepared. Ugh. Love you mom & dad. *Wink* to the hubby. Couldn't do it without Jesus *lifts statue to heaven*.

I Thought This Was the Day

2008-11-15T18:59:00.000-08:00

A year ago I was breathing through contractions, expecting to hold a baby before the day's end. By bedtime though everything had come to a halt, and I was completely frustrated and anxious for this kiddo to come out.

I can't believe that in two days my little baby girl is going to be one year old.

Who Are Your Role Models and Why?

2008-11-05T14:24:00.000-08:00

Wendy Metzger, a close friend and goldy woman who strives to honor God in everything she does.

My mom, who loves unconditionally--even when it's difficult.

Amy Madden Copp, who exudes professionalism, and has more business talent than most women can dream of having.

My husband, extremely wise and humble, and works harder than anyone I know.

Stuff Christians Like

2008-10-31T05:49:00.001-07:00

I truly love the "Stuff Christians Like" blog, and this is by far one of his best posts:
http://stufffchristianslike.blogspot.com/2008/10/413-trying-to-find-cause.html

His blog has me thinking and laughing at the same time. I read it every day, and usually re-read it later on too. You really should take a look.

Where Do You See Yourself?

2008-10-29T15:08:00.000-07:00

Someone asked me yesterday where I see myself in 5 years. For the first time ever my response was "Hopefully, right where I am!" In the past I quickly responded with an answer full of driven ambition and accomplishments. Now, I'm happy right where I am doing exactly what I'm doing. (Of course, it would be great to not have financial concerns, but God is working on that for us & I'm just waiting on Him.)
I want to take a look back on where I THOUGHT I would be versus where I am. This is a long one, so prepare yourself (I suggest a warm cranberry-oat scone, and a cup of hot blueberry white tea.)

One Year Ago
Where I was: Pregnant, anxiously awaiting the birth of my second child. I was stressed at work, and unhappy with recent changes and the obvious upcoming inflexibility with my work schedule.

Had it gone my way: I would just be finishing up a year of working 1/2 at home, and 1/2 in the office. I would be the super-mom of the year balancing life at home and life at work. I would've hired a mother's helper to assist me at home with the kids and chores. I would be contemplating returning to the office full-time, and yet still maintaining a perfect life at home.

Reality Check: Considering the amount of depression that consumed the majority of this year, I doubt I would've survived working full-time no matter the location or situation. Plus, changes continued to happen at my old job, and I’m not sure I would’ve stayed happy with my work. Our finances would be just as bad, if not worse b/c I wouldn't have the time to get my husband's business running smoothly or manage our household budget wisely, and would be paying someone else to help me run the house.

Five Years Ago
Where I was: October 2003—We had just moved to Colorado 6 months prior, and we were living in a dinky duplex in the college area of Fort Collins. We were serving as campus ministers, and enjoying hanging out with the college kids. I was temping for a financial advisor, and had started taking classes at a culinary school. Neither of which were working out well. We had been trying to have a baby for over a year now, and I was really stressed about getting pregnant.

Had it gone my way: I would’ve completed culinary school, and now own my own catering business that focused on the needs of working moms. All the while I would’ve had a baby or two along the way, we would’ve bought a nice house, and not be in debt.

Reality Check: While culinary school was a great learning experience, it wasn’t right. God obviously had other plans, and within a few short months I was working for Group at a job I truly loved. We were blessed with a couple of kids—on God’s time, which is always the right time.

10 Years Ago
Where I was: October 1998—a newly wed for 4 months, and finishing up the first semester of my junior year.

Had it gone my way: We would have moved to Washington State, where I would go on to law school (yep, law school), and Matt would be a successful musician. We would have a couple kids, and I would be a super-mom (hmmmm…do you see a theme here) balancing life as a lawyer and mom.

Reality Check: Ten years ago I had lofty dreams, but no idea where God wanted me or how to get there. I never would’ve even fathomed back then that I would be where I am—AND HAPPY ABOUT IT. So, I can only imagine what life will be like in 10 more years. Praise God it goes HIS WAY instead of my way.

Entry #6: Cough, cough

2008-10-29T09:39:00.000-07:00

When your child coughs, how do you respond? Do you feel a tightening in your chest, because you are now holding your breath? Do you stop everything, and listen so intently that you hear your own heart beat (now beating rapidly) in your ears? Do you look deeply into your child's face for any signs of bigger problems?

Depending on the cough, I'll have any of those responses, all of them, or those and more. O is so used to me reacting this way that now he'll smirk and fake a dramatic cough, and then giggle at me. I'm sorry, I'm a worrier. I was that way before he was born. Even before we knew he had CF, when he was just a tiny baby, my heart would ache anytime he coughed.

The fact is kids cough. CF kids typically cough more, and it's okay. Productive coughing (not O's teasing-coughs) help loosen the mucus in his lungs, and can prevent illness.

It still freaks me out. We started doing vest therapy in 2008, and I've noticed a big difference in his cough. It's more productive, and now he coughs less throughout the day. When a cold comes on we do more time in the vest, and he seems to overcome his illnesses quicker. It could just be me, but I think this is an awesome tool. O's not too fond of it, but he does enjoy making funny noises while the vest vibrates his chest.

Here's a quick video of him in his vest.

So, how are you doing?

2008-10-29T09:32:00.000-07:00

Have you kept up with your 90 day commitment?
I would say I'm doing pretty good. It's been two weeks, and I've only missed 3 days or so. I have noticed though I'm doing more each time. Maybe my strength is building, maybe I'm just well-rested lately, I don't know. Either way, let's keep going. Only 76 more days--YOU CAN DO IT!

I Dare Ya

2008-10-16T13:17:00.000-07:00

90 days. Can you do it?
My sister-in-law, Billie, my husband, and I have all committed to work out for 90 days. I use the term "work out" loosely here to mean some sort of exercise outside of the normally physical activity I do in a day. So, whether I do 5 push ups, or an hour long session at the gym--I must do something, every day, for 90 days.
We started yesterday. I did some pilates and some push ups before bed. Go me.

The idea here is to commit to exercise. I have no other goal beyond that. No diet constraints (I already watch what I eat, try to make healthy choices, but also enjoy foods that make me happy--a la cookie dough I'm currently nibbling at), no rigorous work out schedule, nothing like that. Just a commitment to do more than the usual for 90 days.

How did this come about--that's a fun story:

I love infomercials. Seriously. I understand if you don't want to be my friend anymore, but it's a fact. I find them amusing, some even tempting.
Now, I don't go looking for infomercials, but if one happens to be on & nothing else is entertaining me--I will watch.
Yes, I've even purchased things I've seen in an infomercial, and I have a wish list.

So, lately the infomercial of choice is the "P90X" system. A series of work out DVD's designed to get you "ripped" in 90 days. Now, I have no desire to have the body of body-builder, but the idea of getting strong and healthy in 90 days sounds pretty cool.
The other night my husband watched part of the infomercial with me, after I said that I'd like to try it. We decided that before we spend the $140+ on these miracle DVDs, we should try just exercising the way we know how for 90 days. Also, after struggling with postpartum depression all winter last year, I feel it is imperative that I'm physically active all winter long.

So, here goes. From last night until January 12th we're going to do this. Want to join in the madness? Leave a comment telling me what you're going to do for 90 days. I'll check in with you, if you check in with me. Okay? C'mon, I dare ya!

Sick Days

2008-09-30T13:25:00.000-07:00

I miss sick days. I'm not just talking about those paid-off days from work, but I miss getting to be sick with nothing else to do except lay in bed or on the couch with a box of tissues, a glass of 7Up, and a cozy blanket. Oh yeah, and my mommy coming around every so often to feel my head, and ask if I need anything.
Those days are gone. I am the mommy now, and I don't get sick days.

I was sick the week before last. I had a horrible sinus infection, and I didn't want to move. This did not compute with my kids. My husband made every attempt to allow me some rest, but alas it was for naught.
Of course, the very next week the whole lot of them got sick too. The baby, the toddler, and the husband. I made them continue working and playing just as hard as ever though--yeah, right. No, no, no, I comforted, I rocked, I cuddled, I made special meals for upset tummies, and applied cool rags to warm heads. I allowed pajamas to be worn all day, and movies watched for hours on end. I took care of my babes.

That's what I do. I'm the mommy.

Entry #5: Germ-a-phob

2008-09-26T12:30:00.000-07:00

Please don't touch my kid.

Even before I had O, I was kind of a germ-a-phob. I keep a bottle of hand sanitizer in my purse, and yes, after shaking your hand I most likely used that marvelous gel to put my mind at ease. See, I used to get upper respiratory infections regularly--almost every month. It felt like as soon as I recovered from one, the next would start up. It's not that I'm afraid of getting dirty--I love to camp, play in the garden, and other such fun. People though, well, you never know.

CF kids have mucus--lots of mucus. Thick, sticky, nasty mucus. Viruses and bacteria love mucus. We all have mucus in our lungs, but CF kids can have a hard time keeping it from sticking in their lungs and harboring germs.
Your lungs don't do a marvelous job at recovering from respiratory disease. It's important that CF kids maintain healthly lung function as long as possible. I had pneumonia pretty bad when I was 20, and since then any cough, chest cold, or other such ailment really is painful. My doc said my lungs are pretty scarred from the pneumonia.
Having that experience makes me pretty aware and cautious when it comes to O's lungs. If we're out walking and have to pass a smoker, I cover O's face. During cold and flu season (typically from October to March) we avoid other kids (especially those we don't know, or those that go to daycare). O uses a vest that vibrates his chest and helps loosen mucus from his airways. We know of other CF kids who use inhalers and ventilators, or other medications to keep their lungs functioning at their best. Thankfully, we haven't reached that point, and Lord willing, we won't.

This is the scariest and hardest part of CF for me. Even before we knew O had CF, I would jump if he started coughing. Now, coughing is vital to his health, and at the same time can be an indicator of something bad.

When O was not quite 2 years old I took him to the park. He had blast running around, swinging, going down the slide, and just playing. Then he started coughing. Hard. I swooped him up into my lap, and he continued coughing really hard. He rested his whole body into my chest, coughing so hard I thought his lungs were falling apart. The other moms at the park looked worried. I'm pretty sure I did too, but something took over my body. I let him sip water in between coughs to keep his throat moist, and I spoke soothingly over him, all the while praying earnestly for my God to clear O's lungs. I also was pleading with my eyes to the nearby building where my husband was working, in hopes that he would come running to aid me and keep my fears at bay. I wanted to cry. It felt like he was coughing for several minutes, but it was probably only seconds. Other moms were offering cough drops or other stop-the-cough solutions, and I tried to smile and gently explain thanks, but no thanks. Some looked at me as if I was a horrible mother, but I know they just didn't understand. He finally stopped, took a big drink of water, and scrambled out of my lap to continue playing as if nothing had happened. I, on the other hand, was shaken. I pretended that it was "all in the day of the life of a mom with a kid that has CF," but inside I was FREAKED. When my husband came home, I broke down crying and shaking. "I don't know if I can do this."

Coughing spasms rarely happen in our house, but when they do it's usually because a lack of activity or respiratory therapy. So, we are vigilant with O's vest therapy, and also incorporate good nutrition (failing to thrive, or not maintaining calories and a good diet can lead to poor lung health and development).

However, there is still the issue of other people. Other people's germs. Another CF mom was a great support to me. I was starting to feel isolated, avoiding events with friends and get-togethers with family, all in the name of protecting O. I also worried what friends and family thought of me. My friend was awesome--"Which matters more: what your friends and family think of you, or your child's life?" That's a no-brainer. My kid totally trumps whatever activity, event, or otherwise you've got going on. Sorry if that makes you feel bad, but I think you'd do the same in my situation.

Finding balance is a trick too. We don't want to be home all the time--that's not fun for anyone (especially O, who LOVES time with friends and family). My husband and I evaluate every event, weighing all the risks (CF related or otherwise) versus benefits, and then prayerfully make a decision. We've made mistakes, and O got sick. Usually when we look back at those decisions we see that it was more of our lack of confidence in saying no to a friend or family member that led us to making a poor decision. We recently renewed our dedication to making decisions based on our family's priorities and needs, not other's opinions.

I hope you're not offended when we turn down your request to attend an event. It may not be because we think you have germs. It could just be it's not the best thing for our family. If I use my hand sanitizer after shaking your hand, well, that's just because I'm a germ-a-phob.

Entry #4: Vitamin D

2008-09-26T09:39:00.000-07:00

At my daughter's first well-baby check-up our doctor told us that she would need a vitamin D supplement. She said that my breastmilk is vitamin D deficient.

I will be the first to admit that I don't know enough about nutrition to say much about this topic, however here are my thoughts.
God made me. God made my baby. God made my breastmilk for my baby. In conclusion: The breastmilk that I produce for my baby is sufficient for her needs.

Okay, seriously, I do know a bit more than that. First, it's important for every lactating momma to know that the breastmilk you produce is not only unique to you--it's unique to your baby. That means the composition of the milk you make for you first baby, is not necessarily the same as the composition of the milk you produce for your second, third, and so on. Each baby receives what they need.
Secondly, it is imperative that you have a healthy diet and lifestyle so that you are producing the best milk possible for your baby. Make sure you're still taking pre-natal vitamins, getting good amounts of sunshine, and if necessary, a vitamin D supplement. A good diet, rich in vitamin D is good as well. Here are some great sources:
Salmon (I've got a great recipe, if you're fish-finicky)
Tuna
Milk (goat's milk too)
Cereal
Eggs (There are more than 100 ways to cook an egg, surely you like one of them.)
Pudding

Even though research claims that breastmilk is deficient in vitamin D that does not mean that your breastmilk does not have vitamin D. Possibly just low levels. The best way to get vitamin D is via the sun. I find it ironic that we've been told to avoid sun exposure because it causes cancer, and now the research is telling us that vitamin D deficiency is linked to certain types of cancer. All things in balance, right? Be sure your baby gets 10 minutes of sunshine a day (at least)--no sunscreen, no hat, heck--no clothes. I let my little ones out in the summer bare skin just before the heat of the day (between 10 a.m-1 p.m. for our area). I watch them CAREFULLY, and keep them cool playing in water and dirt.

My son, who has CF, requires much higher levels of all the fatty vitamins (A, D, E, and K). He takes vitamins specially formulated for CF kids. He also spends LOTS of time outside without a shirt and very little sunscreen. We've been doing that since he was a tiny baby, and he hasn't suffered any sunburn. He also eats LOTS of fish--specifically salmon. Our family LOVES salmon, especially O. We got him hooked at a young age on smoked salmon, and now he gobbles up any fish I put in front of him. Also, I highly recommend the fish market at Whole Foods. It's fresh, and they are VERY knowledgeable about their product. They'll answer all your questions and then some. O also likes taking fish oil--eeck! I take mine in pill form, but he ENJOYS the liquid! Yuck, yuck, and double yuck!
At O's yearly CF exam (he goes quarterly, but once a year is the "big one" where they do all the blood work) his vitamin levels are checked. We've always done his exam in April, and his vitamin D levels have been low. I completely attribute that to the fact that we had spent the majority of the winter and early spring indoors. This year we bumped his appointment to May, and with just one month's difference his levels were normal. Now that he's older I think it will be easier to get him outside during the snowy months, but if necessary, he'll get an extra supplement.

I'm definitely NOT against giving kids vitamins, but I also try to let what God has created work on it's own. At the same time I use what He has given me to it's best (eating well, taking care of myself, eating the abundance of things he created to keep us well, enjoying the glorious sunshine, etc.) That can also mean in some cases that a supplement is necessary for good health.

Info on vitamin D and breastmilk:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Vitamin_D
http://www.vitamindcouncil.org
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Breast_milk

Not Me, Monday!

2008-09-22T20:39:00.000-07:00

I love MckMama's Not Me! idea of therapy, so here goes:

I most certainly did not start the day at 4:30 this morning by getting my wailing 10 month old out of her crib, and into bed with me. Of course, my 3 year old certainly didn't wake up just seconds after I finally got the baby back to sleep. Oh, no, no. My babies sleep like perfect angels.
I did not allow my son to use a marker to give his legs zebra stripes. No, not me. I did not allow my daughter to shred the newspaper into bits underneath the kitchen table. Nuh-uh, no way, I always closely supervise my kids.
I absolutely did not spend way too much time on facebook connecting with old friends, or updating my blogs. No, not when the house is a mess.
I never ever thought today "Who are these kids, and why do they keep calling me Mom?" No, not me.
I surely did not cringe when my husband said he had rehearsals tonight, meaning he would be gone for a total of 18 hours today. No, not this strong supportive wife. No, not me.

Nurtured Mother is Growing

2008-09-18T14:43:00.000-07:00

INTRODUCING: Billie Cramer, CMT and certified doula and Kristin Holt, RN and certified doula

After much begging, pleading, nagging, arm-twisting, and bribing--I somehow convinced these two amazing ladies to join forces with me to enhance Nurtured Mother's services for women in Northern Colorado. Hooray!!!

I was blessed to experience their expertise first-hand, as they were both serving as my doulas at the birth of my daughter. Kristin brings the wisdom of both mainstream medicine and alternative medicine, and is the mother of 3 beautiful children. Billie's compassionate strength is only matched by her gentle touch, and she is the mother of an adorable baby boy. (Okay, for those of you who have already put two-and-two together: Billie is also my sister-in-law, and that adorable boy is my nephew! I'm allowed to gush over that cutie anytime I want!)

They'll be writing-in from time to time here on the blog, so check back often to hear from these awesome ladies.

I'll be updating the website (www.nurtured-mother.com) with more information on Billie and Kristin, and the services they offer soon too.

We Make That Wish Everyday

2008-09-18T12:47:00.001-07:00

Recipe Reviews

2008-09-06T14:03:00.000-07:00

Trail Mix Granola Bars

O requires more calories than the average 3-year old boy (some days it feels like he consumes more than the average full grown hippo). So, I'm always on the look out for great recipes that are high-calorie, but also nutritious for his overall well being (and the rest of the family's).

I found a great site: www.cfnutrition4life.com with some interesting recipes. Since Matt was headed for the great outdoors last weekend, I decided that it was time to try my hand at granola bars.

Link to the recipe:http://www.cfnutrition4life.com/cfnu/readarticle.php?article_id=121

My end product (one day I'll remember to take pictures during the process):

Notes: I added a 1/2 c more oats and some dried cranberries to my first batch. I didn't have chocolate chips, so I chopped up some dark chocolate bars. I reduced the amount of honey in the second batch to 1/2 cup.

Foodie Finds: Yummy! O loves these bars. Full of great vitamins, minerals, good fats, and CHOCOLATE--what could be better? Matt said it made a great tasting back-packing snack. However, it is almost too sweet for my taste, and very sticky. Matt wanted something he could just eat with his hands on the trail, and this wouldn't even stay in "bar" form.

Bertolli Frozen Pasta: A review

2008-08-31T18:58:00.000-07:00

When we started cutting expenses, we knew eating out would have to go. Eating out for us usually happens at two different times: 1.) Planned family or date nights or 2.) When daily chaos prevents us from getting dinner started early enough so that we're not eating at 9 p.m.
The latter was the big problem. When I was working full time we ate out a lot more often because we were too tired, or didn't have time.

The solution: *Sigh* Frozen prepared meals.
We were picky. It had to taste good, and not be full of nasty preservatives or other ingredients that we normally wouldn't eat.

The product: Bertolli frozen "Classic Dinners" and "Pasta & Sauce." I had a coupon, they were on sale, so they got first try. The ingredients were also pronounceable & recognizable, and they were things we would normally eat.

The verdict: Good--and great for a night when we just don't have time. So far, the only one we haven't enjoyed is the ravioli--the sauce was really not impressive. Tonight I enjoyed the manicotti with ricotta and spinach. Our favorite is the Mediterranean chicken and linguine. O hasn't been very impressed with any of them (especially the ravioli), but he will pick out and eat the chicken and noodles.

Tummy Troubles

2008-08-19T12:44:00.001-07:00

What is wrong with this world? Too often I find myself sitting around with other moms as they tell me that their child suffers from this or that, or that their doctor has prescribed yet another drug to treat their kid.
We have an over-medicated, over-diagnosed society. I totally believe that their are genuine cases out there, but I'm starting to really doubt some medical professionals.

The ailment that I'm hearing all-too-often with young moms with new babies is acid reflux. Their baby spits up quite a bit, and after invasive testing the doctor determines it to be acid reflux. The treatments range from sitting the baby up while sleeping, to medications, and sometimes even switching from breastmilk to formula.

AAAAACKKKKKK! Hold the phone! What's the deal here? I don't doubt that the baby is suffering or having some sort of trouble, but I do question our thinking. No two kids are alike, and too often we tend to think in terms of "normal." Guess what, folks, there is no "normal." You are this baby's mom, and you should always trust your gut. However, sometimes we as moms tend to panic when our kid seems different than someone else's kids (or different from what doctors tell us is "normal"). Some kids rarely spit up, others spit up all the time. My kiddos fluctated between both exremes. Before I go too deep with this, can I suggest a few alternatives? If you feel your baby is spitting up "abnormally" try these ideas BEFORE calling your physician:

Do a self check. If you're breastfeeding (and I hope you are) remember that your diet effects your baby. Duh. Are you drinking enough water? Are you drinking caffeine? Are you eating well? Could something you've eaten be upsetting the baby's tummy? A handful of suspect foods: chocolate, broccoli, cabbage, milk or any dairy product. Before you start thinking this is a baby problem, make sure it's not a YOU problem.
Talk to a chiropractor. You make think this is voodoo, or crack-pot medicine, but it works. Making sure that your baby is properly aligned can make a big difference in their digestive system. Please trust me on this. I've become all too familiar with the digestive system of wee ones, and I've seen this work.
Propping up baby to sleep can help, but also try laying them on their left side.
Burp, burp, burp. Or, as my 3-year-old calls it "bert." A baby needs to burp. Don't give up, you must get that child to burp. Try placing your hand on their stomach while using your other hand to firmly pat their back. That worked well for my husband (who has big hands). For me, placing the baby over my shoulder (making sure the tummy was pressing into my shoulder), and firmly patting worked great. Sometimes we both would work on a kiddo for 15 minutes before they'd give in and burp. Stubborn little twerps. (Whoops, did I just say that?)

Okay, so you've tried these things, and it still seems like more is coming out than going in AND now you're worried the baby is not gaining weight. Yet again, I'd like to suggest you talk to a lactation consultant first, but always trust your gut. If you feel seriously concerned, call your physician. *NOTE: Projectile vomiting is not the same as spitting up. If your kiddo is launching the entire contents of their stomach across the room several times a day CALL YOUR DOCTOR NOW.

So, in short, what you think is normal, may not be normal for your baby or normal as society belives. God made your baby the normal He intended, and don't be so quick to judge what God made perfectly normal. As I'm always telling my husband, I'm normal--everyone else is weird.

Carrots

2008-08-16T11:37:00.000-07:00

I've never liked carrots. No matter how they've been prepared or smothered with butter or honey--I just really don't like them. The only exception in my 28 years of life has been when my husband makes his Sunday roast, and roasts carrots along with the beef and other vegetables.

The WIC program gives us carrots--lots of carrots. Ugh. They gave me recipes, and lots of information on carrots. So, I've been reading. Did you know:

One single dark orange carrot can supply enough beta-carotene to meet our total daily allowance requirement of vitamin A. (Vitamin A is necessary for good eye health, strong bones and teeth.)
Adults who lack adequate vitamin A can suffer from poor eyesight, split fingernails that peel and become ridged, skin that develops blemishes, wrinkles and becomes dry, and their hair becomes dry, brittle and dull. Children lacking sufficient vitamin A are more susceptible to infections. Insufficient vitamin A is known to be the primary cause of blindness in American children.
Carrots also have vitamins C and E, and are good sources of fiber and potassium.
More and more research links carrots to lowering your risk of cancer.

Okay, I get it. Carrots are good for me, but I still don't like them. Well, that is, until today. I pureed carrots for E (because they're good for her), and I gave them a quick taste to make sure they were not too warm.

Who knew? Warm, pureed carrots are good. Not amazing, but good. A little butter, a little salt, and yeah I can eat these. In fact, mix these carrots with some pureed parsnips or potatoes--and YUM!

Mom, I know you're reading this, and going "Yeah, right. I'm still not going to eat carrots." Mom, you've got to try this, especially try adding them to mashed potatoes. Add some seasonings, if you like.

Just a word of caution: eat 'em warm. Once they get cold--yuck. Cold carrot mush--not a pretty picture.

(Data provided by the California Fresh Carrot Advisory Board.)

Entry #3 CF and Nutrition: Milk

2008-08-15T12:53:00.000-07:00

Nutrition plays an enormous role in cystic fibrosis. A major reason O continues to be healthy is due in part to his diet. I've taken it upon myself to learn as much as possible about CF where nutrition is involved, mainly because from day 1 as his mother I am the source of his nutrition.

I am a major advocate for breastfeeding. Prior to O's birth I did a lot of research on breastfeeding. Having breastfed each of my baby dolls, I had always desired to breastfeed my real babies too. I learned so much while I was pregnant on the importance of breastfeeding for both baby and mother. So, at our first official visit with the CF doctors I was devastated when the doctors and nutritionists "warned" me that I may have to give up breastfeeding because it may not be adequate. According to their specialists breastmilk does not have enough calories for a child with CF.

Being the stubborn, hard-headed woman that I am, I basically said "I will breastfeed this child, even if that means I feed him every hour. You can either get behind me on that, or go suck a lemon." I am a FIRM believer that God created your breastmilk especially for your baby. Meaning that no matter the circumstance, your milk is adequate for your baby's needs. If O required heavy calorie milk, than God would provide heavy calorie milk (or the stamina for me to breastfeed every hour).

I breastfed O exclusively until he was 5 months old (when we introduced cereal, which we mixed with breastmilk). I continued nursing O until he was 22 months old. His doctors were, and still are, astonished with how big O is, and were amazed that my breastmilk was adequate. I simply believe if every CF mom had some encouragment, ate healthy, and was as stubborn as me--they too could continue breastfeeding exclusively.
O constantly rates in the 95% on the growth charts--much bigger than many CF kids. Yes, there were a few days when I did nurse him every hour, but for the majority of those early days O followed the "Babywise" schedule. (Please read "On Becoming Babywise" by Ezzo.) Between being breastfed and being on a regular consistent schedule, I believe O established good eating habits that have helped him thrive despite his condition.

As O got older the CF nutritionists insisted that we give O cow's milk. Before I became pregnant with O, I had several unresolved digestive issues. I went to many doctors, and none of them found the problem. Our chiropractor had me do a cleanse diet (eliminating all potential food allergens for a period of time, and then slowly reintroducing them). I also read a lot on nutrition. We changed our eating habits quite a bit--eating more natural and organic foods, very little processed foods, and pretty much eliminated some other foods. (I highly recommend "The Maker's Diet.") Through various readings I learned that it's a good idea to NOT give children under the age of 2 any cow's milk products for various reasons. (I won't bore you with all the info on why--go look it up.) Since I was breastfeeding and pumping additional milk for O's needs we didn't have any reason to give him cow's milk until he was about 2 years old.
Not long after he started eating milk, cheese, yogurt, and even ice cream we noticed O having lots of digestive issues--mainly extremes like severe constipation or the opposite--severe diarrhea. This was really hard on him, because he was in the midst of potty training. After a few accidents that really embarassed my sweet and shy little boy (even though we never scolded him about potty accidents, he seemed very frustrated), I was determined to find the answer to these problems.
We reduced the amount of cow's milk products he ate, and increased his enzymes. Still, he was struggling with regular constipation. I received a call from my husband one day while at work.
"Don't panic," he said. Uh oh. He continued to describe the scene (gosh, I hope you're not eating while reading this blog): A small portion of O's rectum was outside his anus. My husband said it looked like a red flower blooming out his bottom. Of course, I was freaked. Insides are supposed to stay inside--not outside! I told him to call the CF center and the emergency room, and ran out of the office as quickly as I could to get home.
When I got home my husband updated me. The emergency room said to put a moist cloth on the rectum and quickly bring him in, and he hadn't yet heard back from the CF center. However, when my husband had attempted to place the moist cloth on O's rectum, it had gone back inside. As we waited for the CF center to call, I jumped online to search for information. Before I could download much, the phone rang. A very calm and collected doctor told us that it was perfectly normal for a CF kid. NORMAL!?!?! I think I shouted this at the time. Geez, you should have a manual about these supposed "normal" CF things! I believe the doctor chuckled, and suggested that I write a book for other CF parents on these things...hmmmm.
O continued to have, what we learned is called, "rectal prolapse." When he pushed hard, well, out it came. We thought maybe his potty was the culprit (possibly sitting in a straining position). We thought maybe we allowed him to sit too long on the potty. He continued to also have constipation. I went back to my books about cow's milk not being the best for kiddos. I read that goat's milk was a great alternative, as it more closely resembles breastmilk and is easier to digest. We tried it out. His constipation pretty much went away, and the rectal prolapse lessened dramatically. However, any amount of cow's product immediately brought it back.
On his next visit with his CF specialists we saw a new doctor. This doctor made a comment about O's very round belly. Now, since O was born I had asked ALL of his doctors about his round belly, as it just didn't seem normal too me. No one seemed to think it was an issue--maybe just a small hernia one said.
This doctor felt his belly and told us that he had distended bowels, and that his intestines were full of, well, poo. (Argh, I KNEW his tummy wasn't right--yet another reason that as a mother you should ALWAYS trust your gut, no pun intended.) He recommend regular doses of Miralax, which worked wonders. O gets a small daily dose of Miralax, and drinks only goat's milk. We occasionally allow him cow's cheese, yogurt, and ice cream, but only in moderation. O does great with this, and hasn't suffered rectal prolapse or any significant constipation in over a year.

Another note on dairy products (cow's or otherwise): Mucus. Yuck. CF kids have a lot of mucus. Milk increases mucus production. Bacteria and viruses LOVE mucus. What does this tell you? In cold and flu season we drastically reduce the amount of mucus-producing foods O eats. This includes mainly dairy products and wheat. GASP! Just like our nutritionist panicked when she heard this, I'm sure your's will too. Please note I AM NOT A NUTRITIONIST. I'm a mom of my CF kid, who is probably TOTALLY different than your CF kid. (They're all different, you know?) I am suggesting that you read as much as you can, and try it out for yourself. Now, dairy provides a major source of vital nutrients: calcium, vitamin D, calories, folic acid and more. O gets goat's milk daily, even during the winter months, unless he has a cough. I must note that we replace the nutrients he normally gets through milk with other less-mucus-producing foods (green veggies, calcium-enriched juices, fresh fruits, salmon--yep, my kid loves it, and others). We also have supplements on-hand (folic acid, liquid calcium, and others) just in case any of his tests results show a deficiency. He has only been low on vitamin D, but that usually is due in large part to the fact that his test is run in April when he has spent most days inside rather than outside in the sun. O thrives on his diet, and I encourage you to research and learn more on the foods you give your child (whether he or she has CF or not). If you're pregnant or have a newborn--please, breastfeed your baby. It will be the best thing you ever do for your baby.

ADDED LATER:
O did not have any typical CF symptoms, or become pancreatic insufficient until he was 6 months old.
One week after O stopped nursing I became pregnant. After E was born, O saw me pumping and came running with a cup! I happily obliged, and gave him any extra milk I pumped.

Resources:
http://www.llli.org/llleaderweb/LV/LVOctNov02p99.html
http://www.cfnutrition4life.com/site/news.php

Try Standing In My Boat

2008-08-05T19:59:00.000-07:00

This posting comes with a warning: DO NOT assume that this pertains to you.

We've had so many friends and family members encourage us during this "rough spot," and we appreciate it. However, I need to say something. This comes from conversation after conversation with friends who are desperately trying to cheer me up, encourage me, or somehow make it better with words.
It feels like we're in a boat that's taking on water, and we are going to drown. Friends who send off words of encouragement like "you did the right thing," "have patience," "trust God--it will work out," or similar phrases, are like people standing on the shore waving to us & smiling. You might have a different perspective standing on your safe shore, but think for a moment how we're feeling in this boat. Would you want the person on shore just smiling & waving? Or, are you screaming desperately for rescue?
If you don't have the solution, and you're not willing or unable to send a life line, or have never been in this boat--please stop trying to "fix it" with your words. It's not helping. Rather, the best thing to say would be--I'm here if you need someone.
We've reached a point where we're even sick of telling people how we're doing. It seems like life is full of dread and worry, and that's not who we are. I told Matt today that we need to have a "God is good" party. We're not yet sure what that looks like, but I'm sure it involves bacon.

Shop Nurtured Mother

2008-08-01T13:27:00.000-07:00

My store is open for business!
http://www.nurtured-mother.com/store.html

It's small for now, just until I can see how it goes, but at least it's something. My business cards and brochures arrived this week too. I can't wait to get these out to people!

Entry #2: Poop

2008-07-29T19:46:00.000-07:00

Every boy I have ever known has thought poop is hilarious. Seriously, the word poop (in all it's forms) always seems to make a guy grin. Even the precursor to the poop (a.k.a. flatulence, toot, poot, fart, etc.) seems to be ingrained in the DNA of boys to be excessively funny.
I've always be indifferent, I mean, come on, it's poop.

When you first have a baby, poop is a BIG deal. First off, if your water breaks and meconium is present (baby's first poop), it's usually alerts your medical team to be prepared for complications. Any number of possibilities could be happening: stressed baby, over-term baby, and so on. If the baby takes it's first breath and fills it's lungs with meconium--that's a whole new problem. Then you're supposed to record every bowel movement the baby has for several weeks to ensure they baby is healthy.

I never realized how important poop would become in my life. I had expected poop to be a part of discussions when we had kids, but when CF became part of our lives it became so much more important. A symptom of CF is frequent, oily stools. It indicates that the baby is "pancreatic insufficient," meaning that he is not digesting fats, and therefore could fail to thrive.

When we learned of O's CF one of the first things they asked us was what his poop looked like. Honestly, I hadn't paid that close attention. I had done the early weeks of recording the number of dirty diapers, but I hadn't really done any investigative work, I mean, come on, it's poop. They actually took a "sample" at our first meeting--a dirty diaper. I happily obliged their request. Somehow, it made me feel happy to give the people who had just given me the worst possible news a stinking, dirty, poop-filled diaper.

O's poop was normal, no oil. This meant he did not need to start taking pancreatic enzymes. This, at the time, felt like a victory to me. Taking enzymes meant that we would have to introduce solid foods--applesauce, specifically. A baby can't swallow enzymes, so enzymes have to be spoon-fed with a soft food. Even the thought of giving O something other than breatmilk broke my heart. However, they wanted to show me that first day how to administer (feed) O enzymes, so that if he soon needed them I would know what to do. The nurse gave me instructions, and handed me the spoon. I gave it back, and said, "No." She looked at me puzzled. I said, "I'm sorry, I just can't do this right now." I had tears in my eyes. The nurse was gentle, and very understanding. She gave O a bite, my heart shattered, and a tear rolled down my cheek.

For four more months O didn't have oily poop. Then, one day, I was changing his diaper. My heart dropped to my stomache. I had always wondered what it would look like, and if I'd even be able to tell what it was. I could. I did. O started enzymes that day. As he got bigger his need for more enzymes grew too--I could always tell because he would get oily poop. It saddened me those first few times--like I was failing to help him, but now I see the reasoning and benefits. Enzymes are a great thing. In a not too distant past, we didn't have enzymes, and kids died very young. The amount of enzymes you take is based on your weight--meaning that each time O's dose increased it directly corresponded to the fact that O IS THRIVING. That's a big deal.

We've had our other struggles with poop--my entry CF and Nutrition: Milk goes into our adventure of rectal prolapse. There are sure to be more adventures, but I'm glad that despite how poop can be a very serious issue for our family it's still funny. O is a boy, and no matter what your issue is--flatulence is hilarious. I just pray his wife has a strong sense of humor too, or a weak sense of smell.

Entry #1: Don't Panic

2008-07-29T14:25:00.001-07:00

I'm starting a new series of posts. Since O's diagnosis with CF I've contemplated writing a book. So, I'm going to start here with my blog. Here goes.

No one should start a conversation with the words "Don't panic." As my dad would say, that's like telling someone to look at a white wall and not think of a polar bear. The first thing you'll think of is a polar bear. So, naturally the first thing you do is panic.

Less than a week after my son was born our doctor called to tell us that his newborn screen was abnormal..."but don't panic," she said. I had never heard of cystic fibrosis, so I didn't. I did what I always do--I went to my computer and googled it. After reading everything I could find online, I was confident we had nothing to panic about. O showed absolutely no signs or symptoms of CF.
We scheduled a second newborn screen. It was maybe a day or so later when they contacted us to say the second screen was also abnormal. His doctor was confident that it was a mistake--O was gaining weight quickly and showed absolutely no signs of CF. However, they thought it was wise that we journey to the local Children's Hospital for further testing.

Our visit to the Children's Hospital was long and frustrating. "Why do we have to do this? We know he's fine. Why are we putting our little sweet baby through this?" I kept saying these things over and over. Even after seeing O, the CF Specialist said that there was no way that O had CF--he was just too healthy (and BIG).

The next day I received this call "Tamara, it's Scott." I sat in silence. Who the crap is Scott, I thought. Obviously the silence made it clear I had no idea who Scott was, because O's CF doctor continued to introduce himself.
"Your son has CF," Scott said it bluntly, without warning or hesitation in the slightest. More silence on my end. He proceeded to give me information, to firmly and gently instruct me on the next steps we were to take. I think I only said over and over "I have to go. I have to call my husband." The doctor gave me his direct line, and made me promise to call him right back.

Thus began the whirlwind journey of becoming a mom of a kid with CF. Since then we've had many calls that always begin "Don't panic." Yep, now I always panic.

Fitting It All In

2008-07-28T19:45:00.001-07:00

I'm frustrated. I feel like their is a never-ending list of things I need to remember to do.

Feed the kids.
Play with the kids.
Play one-on-one with each of the kids.
Educate the kids.
Spiritually fulfill the kids.
Exercise with the kids.
Provide social interaction with other kids for the kids.
Read to the kids.
Keep the kids healthy.
Train and discipline the kids.
Give the kids affection.
Show your spouse affection in front of the kids.
Don't let the kids watch too much t.v.
Potty train the kids.
Make sure they go to bed on time.
Oh, and don't forget to do something for yourself.

This list just keeps getting bigger and bigger. It's overwhelming. Can any moms tell me how they are able to do all of this? My brain feels like it's spinning. Maybe I'm just overly-tired, but today the task of "mother" seems too great for mere-mortal me. Somehow I get through each day, but I feel like I'm only functioning on auto-pilot & not really accomplishing anything.

Black Raspberry Jam

2008-07-25T21:03:00.000-07:00

I never knew the satisfaction it would bring me to make my own jam until yesterday.

Yesterday I made black raspberry jam with berries from our garden. It's all-fruit, free of sugar or any other additives you might find in store-bought jam. It also tastes AMAZING! Like deep-rich raspberries. I didn't realize how overly sugary-sweet even our all-fruit store jam was until today. I made buttermilk biscuits this morning so we could have an official taste test.

I didn't realize though, how accomplished I would feel. Like I've gotten in touch with my inner homemaker-pioneer-roots, or something. I am woman, hear me roar-type thing. As I watched my son, father, mother, and husband devour biscuits and jam I felt thrilled that something I made was satisfying my loved ones. I felt like doing a little dance--the "look at me, I'm so cool, I made jam" dance.

I had always heard horror stories of making jam, of pectin not setting up right, and so on. This was easy. I'm planning on making jam out of the remainder of the berries. At first I thought I'd give them away as Christmas gifts, but I'm not sure they'll make it until Christmas.

I would've had a picture of the biscuits, but they were inhaled along with the first jar of jam.

Pictures

2008-07-21T14:14:00.000-07:00

Hooray! The pictures from our family photo session are finally ready!
Kammi & Ross at Elegant Images did an AMAZING job.
Check out their blog http://www.xanga.com/Elegantimages to view a few of our pictures.

Just a Mom

2008-07-19T13:25:00.000-07:00

In this new adventure of becoming a stay-at-home mom there are a couple irritating things that people keep saying to me.

The phrase "just a mom," as in "So, you're just a mom now" or "So, you're just staying home now." As if choosing to leave my job to be at home somehow means that I don't do as much as I did before, if not more. No mom is "just" a mom--let's get that straight right now. Prior to being home I had a very intense and at times high-stress, challenging job. In comparison to being home with two children--that was EASY. Why at work we had regular breaks, lunch hours, and spent the majority of each day SITTING. I don't "just" do anything. Caring for two children is physical, emotional, and mental. Turning away for 30 seconds can mean disaster, or at least peanut butter being smeared all over the chair. Even if all I was doing was "just" caring for my kiddos there is nothing "just" about it.

People continue to also tell me how moms being at home is God's plan/design/will. As if by choosing to work outside of the home it's going against God. Where oh where in the Bible can you tell me that God explains that all mothers need to be homemakers? Am I missing something here? I've read through the entire Bible twice in my lifetime so far, and I'm going for #3 right now. Please, tell me, exactly where to find the scripture on how moms are to be care takers of house & children only? Truly, what I've read shows examples of women who NOT ONLY managed their households and raised their children, but they were also business women and involved in their communities. We've been Super-Moms since time began!

Please DO NOT misunderstand me--I think our world would be better if all moms could be at home with the time and energy to focus solely on their children and households. However, for most American women that's not an option. I sincerely do not believe that God is condemning these women. I do believe God created women as the more natural choice for caring for children, and managing the household. I've also seen some amazing men do an awesome job of kissing booboo's, cleaning house, and making excellent dinners. My husband did an immaculate job for the first two years of our son's life, and consequently our son is extremely close to his dad--I wouldn't trade that for anything. God has a plan for each family, and it's up to you to seek out his will. Don't let anyone tell you that what you're doing is the wrong thing--just find your peace with God.

I cook, clean, and care for the children. I also manage my husband's music studio, freelance, and I am building my doula business. In addition, I attend a weekly Bible study, manage the household budget, and manage our family schedule. Be forewarned: if you are one of these incredibly insensitive folks who asks me if I'm "just" at home now, or how great it is that I'm now following God's design for families--you're liable to get a brick to the head.

Okay, I'm off my soap box for now. :)

I Love Lists

2008-07-18T21:00:00.001-07:00

We have so much going on in our lives right now. It's difficult for me to choose a topic to write on. I love lists, so here goes:

Since quitting my job we've been attempting to live off of about 1/4 of our previous income. Needless to say, it's tight, and we're struggling. Our savings is trickling away, I got myself and kids on WIC to help pay for groceries, and we're blessed with friends & family who are helping as best they can.
I've been struggling with postpartum depression. I have more good days than bad, but when it's bad it's really, really, bad. I have an amazing counselor who is truly a God-send. Enough said.
My husband just finished a week of rehearsals for All Shook Up. Meaning he was at his first job from 4 a.m. until 1 p.m., taught music lessons from 2-7 p.m., and then was at rehearsals until about midnight. I thought about adding up the amount of time he was actually at home this week, but decided that might be even more depressing. Tonight is opening night. Lord willing, he'll be home soon. (I hate going to sleep without him home.)
I love blogging, and reading other people's blogs. I think I'm becoming obsessed. One night I cried for an hour reading Bring the Rain. I couldn't stop until the story was over though. I've also found blogs from old friends, and now I'm able to catch up on their lives & I LOVE IT. I've been inspired by Rose's blog, and I can't wait to write some reviews of my own--after a LONG search for the perfect shampoo, I'm in love with Aveda's Smooth Infusion.
I'm torn between doing the "mom thing," working on my doula business, working on short term projects that I know will bring instant income, and trying to find other long-term work. We're meeting with a financial counselor on Sunday, and I'm hoping they can provide some direction. My preference would be to focus on the kids & my husband, and a secondary priority of building the doula business. I went ahead and applied for a part time job at B&N though.
My parents will be here Sunday for a visit. It will be a bit chaotic, but for good reason. They have interviews for teaching positions (an answered prayer). So, they'll be here a few days, gone for a few days, and then back for who knows how long.
I only have two more weeks of the Bible study I've been attending (A Divine Calling). It's been an awesome experience providing much needed social interaction and mother-support. I'm going to suggest on Monday that we continue meeting. Many of us are ordering the book Creative Correction (click link on my bookshelf on the left), so maybe we could do a study of that.

Sorry for the randomness of thoughts, but that's all I've got tonight. Randomness.

Yes, I'm a doula

2008-07-10T20:19:00.000-07:00

It's possible you came to this blog through my website (http://www.nurtured-mother.com/). Or, maybe you're family, or a friend who's just checking in.
I realized that even though I started this blog months ago, I have yet to post anything about being a doula.

Though I'm just getting my doula business going, I've been blessed to be a part of a handful of births and pregnancies as a doula. I'm hoping that this continues to grow. I love helping women, especially during this awesome time of becoming a mother.

Doulas have been around for centuries, and yet they're not widely accepted or understood. Most people look confused when I say that I'm a doula--they have no idea what a doula is or what they do.

I want to change that. Not only do I want to work as a doula helping moms, I want to work for doulas. To help doulas find mothers trying to find the support that only a doula can provide. To encourage doctors to build relationships with doulas, and come to understand how vital they can be to their practice. To make having a doula the common place instead of the exception.

I support women no matter how they prefer to have their baby, but I also encourage them to embrace the birth experience--the way God created them. C-sections are dangerously on the rise, and medicated births are common place. I wish parents would take a second, step back, breathe, and seek out information that helps them make a decision that will equip them for an amazing birth experience. Blindly accepting whatever you're told (either by doctor, midwife, doula, or whomever) is dangerous, and possibly detrimental to your baby's well being (not to mention your own).

Sometimes I think I'm a better qualified advocate and business manager, than labor support person (a.k.a. doula, if you're one of those still trying to figure out what a doula is). I'm sure confidence will build with experience, but I pray my other mad crazy skills will help move doulas forward in America.

Top 10 Things Never to Say to a Pregnant Woman

2008-07-08T12:03:00.000-07:00

10. When are you due?
9. You're really not that big.
8. Looks like you've dropped.
7. Wow, you're really showing.
6. Look at that belly!
5. When are you due, again?
4. You're still pregnant?
3. When are you going to let that baby out?
2. Are you sure you're not having twins?
1. No, seriously--when are you due?

The only thing you ever need to say to a pregnant woman: "You look fabulous."

Badgers, as promised

2008-07-07T07:49:00.000-07:00

I have no idea when it started, but sometime early-on in our marriage badgers became a staple in our humor.
Then one day, as we were driving somewhere, I saw a bumper sticker that read "I poke badgers with spoons." This, of course, sent us into a fit of giggles.

O's current favorite book is simply called "Trucks." It tells about all kinds of trucks and the work they do. One truck picks up garbage. As O was reading along with his daddy (O likes to read the last word on every page), he mistakenly said "badgers" instead of garbage. Of course, his daddy thought this was hilarious, so O continued saying badgers for the rest of the story.
For days O would say badgers just to get his momma or dad to crack up. Like most things though, you forget why they were funny and it gets old.

Just a few days ago O's dad sneezed. Without skipping a beat, or even looking up from his toy, O said "Badgers, daddy, badgers." (Instead of bless you.) This of course, gave us all the giggles again.

This probably falls under the category of "You had to be there," but a cute story, nonetheless.

Just a little update

2008-06-24T12:06:00.000-07:00

I know it's only been a week since I posted, but it feels like months. The kids are growing so fast, and learning so much.
The baby is crawling, and O is having a blast in the classes I enrolled him in.

I'm still adjusting. I find myself desperate for conversation several times during the day. Blogging helps, but I'm realizing I need to get out & spend time with other moms--"co-workers," if you will.
I realize that I used to spend the majority of my day talking with co-workers, and now some days I spend 90% of the day talking to a 3 year old.

I've connected with some moms through the Bible study that I'm taking, which is great, and I'm trying to meet more women at church.

Some really great news--I have 3 potential doula clients!!! Hooray! The website (www.nurtured-mother.com) is getting some great reviews. (Another shout out to the guys at The Tenfold Collective for creating an awesome site.) I've also been contacted for more marketing freelance work, so we might actually survive this summer.

Our finances are taking a major toll. Please pray with us that my husband is promoted soon. If we don't have a major increase in income soon, we'll be hurting pretty bad, which with the current economy is quite scary.

I hate to end on a down note, so let me give you something to look forward to next time. Badgers are really funny. In fact, badgers are a major source of laughter in our house. I'll tell you all about it next time, but you should check out www.badgerbadgerbadger.com in the mean time.