Saturday, July 25, 2009

Let Me Rephrase

Earlier tonight I posted on my facebook status "There is no "me time." It doesn't exist." It would be more appropriate to say:

There is no down-time, no relaxation, no peace.
There is no rest for the weary, no sanctuary.
There is only do, keep going, one more.

I have been plagued with anxiety attacks this week, and I've been blaming them on the new puppy. Sure, lack of sleep--because of a new puppy--no doubt plays a huge part in my mental state-of-being. However, those of you who suffer from depression probably can understand--it takes so little to tip the scales to send you spiraling downward once more.

I'm pulled in multiple directions at one time, which is devastating to my psyche. I'm not complaining--it is a statement of fact. I chose this life, I chose to have children, I chose to get a puppy. I do this to myself. I always want to do more, add on, say yes to everyone--no matter that my plate is spilling over.

Thankfully, there is one stronger than I--my Savior, my God--who is capable of carrying these burdens. If I am only capable of relinquishing what I think is control over chaos.

Thursday, July 23, 2009

Today's Ta-da

I desperately need affirmations in my life, so here's my "Ta-da List" for today.
  • Made eggs, while my fabulous husband made blueberry muffins.
  • Got kids & self ready for day.
  • Emptied & loaded dishwasher, washed some knives and pots.
  • Cleaned bathroom sinks and mirrors.
  • Vacuumed living room and dining room.
  • Took care of Murphy.
  • Updated invoices and paperwork for the school of music.
  • Balanced the checkbook, & paid bills.
  • Answered and wrote business/work e-mails.
  • Made lunch.
  • Put kids down for naps.
  • Completed pre-visit paperwork for a doctor's appointment.
  • Rotated laundry.
  • Made dinner.
  • Visited with friends who stopped by (with their 4 kids + 1 extra) to meet Murphy.

Things I wish hadn't happened today:
  • Cleaning up puppy puke while our friends visited (apparently it was a tad bit overwhelming to him)
  • Shredding my thumb on the cheese grater while making dinner. Ouch.
  • Children pulling every single wet wipe out of the container while I was making dinner.
  • Heartburn after dinner.
  • Husband being gone for 14 hours.

Wednesday, July 22, 2009

A Little of This, A Little of That

My goodness this blog has become quite boring lately. What can I say, but I'm a busy lady. Last year at this time I was technically a full-time stay-at-home mom. Yes, I was busy with Nurtured Mother and running Matt's teaching studio, however I now also have a part-time job in addition to my other responsibilities AND Matt's teaching studio has grown substantially.

I regret that this means the time and effort I put into budgeting is s
lacking significantly, which worries me b/c that is a major issue for us. It's a catch-22: We need more income, so I need to work, but if I work I don't have time to budget & we tend to over-spend or not spend as wisely.

We added another blessing to our already busy lives this past weekend. Meet Murphy, our 10 week old Beagle.
He's a sweetie. It's been a long time since I had a dog, and it's definitely been a shift in reality for all of us. No more frolicking barefoot in the backyard or garden. Sleepless nights as we care for a young pup's nightly needs. He's a great pup, though, and is already taking a special place in our family.

I need a vacation. I really want to get away, by myself, and away from everything. A spa would be great. A cleansing of toxins and chemicals. I just found out that I have an under-active thyroid, and they want me to start taking hormone supplements. No, thank you. Seriously, I'm 29--aren't I a bit young for that? So, I'm taking natural supplements to try and get back on track. My blood will be re-tested in September, so here's hoping it works.

I'm currently hiding out in my bedroom, b/c the kids and puppy are sleeping. I don't want to take care of anyone else's needs for a good long while, so I'm hiding. Despite that my stomach is growling. Note to self: stash snacks in bedroom.

My baby girl is 20 months old. *sigh* I'm so thankful that both my kiddos still like to have their momma cuddle them. I don't know what I'll do when they're "too big" for that. I'm planning a "dress-up" party for E's 2nd birthday party. She LOVES dresses, hats, and my necklaces. So, I thought a fantastic way to celebrate would to take her out for a special shopping trip, and when she comes home we'll have all kinds of dress-up clothes, jewelry, and fun things to play with.

O is pushing his independence wings again. Seems like we go through stages on this, just like his physical growth. It wears me, down and out. I yell a lot, which SO doesn't help anyone, and I regret it terribly. I ask him to do something, he says "just a minute" or "do [this] first." Or, he demands what he wants in the most whining loud voice he can muster. It's very frustrating, I'm sure for him as well as me. He's doing so well with Murphy though--they're becoming great buddies. It seems to also be a great training tool for teaching him obedience. Now, O's on the other side of getting someone to obey him, and a Beagle is one of the most stubborn animals out there. :)

*sigh* I have to go tidy the house. The church summer leadership team is meeting here tonight. You know, b/c I don't have enough going on in my life. :)