Saturday, July 19, 2008

Just a Mom

In this new adventure of becoming a stay-at-home mom there are a couple irritating things that people keep saying to me.
  1. The phrase "just a mom," as in "So, you're just a mom now" or "So, you're just staying home now." As if choosing to leave my job to be at home somehow means that I don't do as much as I did before, if not more. No mom is "just" a mom--let's get that straight right now. Prior to being home I had a very intense and at times high-stress, challenging job. In comparison to being home with two children--that was EASY. Why at work we had regular breaks, lunch hours, and spent the majority of each day SITTING. I don't "just" do anything. Caring for two children is physical, emotional, and mental. Turning away for 30 seconds can mean disaster, or at least peanut butter being smeared all over the chair. Even if all I was doing was "just" caring for my kiddos there is nothing "just" about it.

  2. People continue to also tell me how moms being at home is God's plan/design/will. As if by choosing to work outside of the home it's going against God. Where oh where in the Bible can you tell me that God explains that all mothers need to be homemakers? Am I missing something here? I've read through the entire Bible twice in my lifetime so far, and I'm going for #3 right now. Please, tell me, exactly where to find the scripture on how moms are to be care takers of house & children only? Truly, what I've read shows examples of women who NOT ONLY managed their households and raised their children, but they were also business women and involved in their communities. We've been Super-Moms since time began!

Please DO NOT misunderstand me--I think our world would be better if all moms could be at home with the time and energy to focus solely on their children and households. However, for most American women that's not an option. I sincerely do not believe that God is condemning these women. I do believe God created women as the more natural choice for caring for children, and managing the household. I've also seen some amazing men do an awesome job of kissing booboo's, cleaning house, and making excellent dinners. My husband did an immaculate job for the first two years of our son's life, and consequently our son is extremely close to his dad--I wouldn't trade that for anything. God has a plan for each family, and it's up to you to seek out his will. Don't let anyone tell you that what you're doing is the wrong thing--just find your peace with God.

I cook, clean, and care for the children. I also manage my husband's music studio, freelance, and I am building my doula business. In addition, I attend a weekly Bible study, manage the household budget, and manage our family schedule. Be forewarned: if you are one of these incredibly insensitive folks who asks me if I'm "just" at home now, or how great it is that I'm now following God's design for families--you're liable to get a brick to the head.

Okay, I'm off my soap box for now. :)

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