Saturday, May 16, 2009

Oh, The Things I Will Do

This was intended to be my obligatory Mother's Day post--you know, every mom who has a blog must write some sort of post on being a mother--but May has been by far our most hectic month this year. This also gave me time to review my thoughts, and I realized that what I wanted to say almost sounded as if I'm complaining about being a mom. 
You see, I intended to write out all the things I will do once my kids are older and/or gone from our home. All those things I used to do, or always wanted to do... like sleeping in.
Truly, my heart was not that of complaining or despairing over things I want or miss. The idea was born out one day while spending time with my all too quickly growing children. 
I had pretty severe postpartum depression after E was born, and it is all too easy to allow sadness to consume my thoughts. It takes concerted effort to turn that frown upside down and find the joy.
My little ones are growing up so fast, some days it seems they literally are growing inches before my eyes. A few nights ago my son, without being asked, assisted me with set up for the Your Best Birth event. He jumped at the opportunity to serve and help his momma. He set out chairs, and helped carry tables. He helped his dad get cords, and hauled just about anything his 4 year old body could lift. I was in awe of my little man--his strength, his heart, his attitude.
In times like these I find myself tearing up--aching to hold their little bodies in my arms forever. It's amazing how this kind of love can break your heart and fill it up over and over. Some times the only way to combat the trembling lip is to think of the things I will fill my time with when they don't need their momma quite so much.
Without further ado:

Travel with fewer bags to further places.
Start and finish a conversation in a normal time period.
Complete a project in one sitting.
Sleep in--past 7 a.m., without interruption all night.
Read books with fewer pictures, and with chapters.
Cook smaller meals, and eat leftovers more frequently.
Clean the house, and have it stay clean for more than an hour.
Bend over less.
Kiss my husband without hearing commentary or complaint.
Wear the same shirt throughout the day, and have it stay clean for more than one wearing.
Leave the house on time, and arrive on time to appointments.
Use the nice dishes, rather than plastic plates and cups.
Have more time for rock climbing, knitting, writing, and all those hobbies that sit collecting dust these days.
Visit friends more regularly.

So, what's on your list? Come on, it's okay, you don't have to feel bad to miss or desire those things we gave up or put aside to be moms. It's alright to look forward to doing them again, especially if it helps you find joy in the all to short season that is motherhood.

1 comment:

Jenn said...

Oh,wow. It's a lot to think about. I mean, it really is hard to imagine what life will be when she's all grown up. She's growing so fast already.
But, here's my list of things I would like to do:

Sleep in!
Leave the house for an outing without having to map out a game plan.
Run whenever the mood strikes, and not juggle it around her bedtime or before work.
Write my story
Scrapbook more, a lot more!
Travel, travel, travel!
Open that coffee shop.
Take a nap any time I please.

So, there it is. I'm sure I could come up with more, but I don't have time right now. :)