Someone asked me yesterday where I see myself in 5 years. For the first time ever my response was "Hopefully, right where I am!" In the past I quickly responded with an answer full of driven ambition and accomplishments. Now, I'm happy right where I am doing exactly what I'm doing. (Of course, it would be great to not have financial concerns, but God is working on that for us & I'm just waiting on Him.)
I want to take a look back on where I THOUGHT I would be versus where I am. This is a long one, so prepare yourself (I suggest a warm cranberry-oat scone, and a cup of hot blueberry white tea.)
One Year Ago
Where I was: Pregnant, anxiously awaiting the birth of my second child. I was stressed at work, and unhappy with recent changes and the obvious upcoming inflexibility with my work schedule.
Had it gone my way: I would just be finishing up a year of working 1/2 at home, and 1/2 in the office. I would be the super-mom of the year balancing life at home and life at work. I would've hired a mother's helper to assist me at home with the kids and chores. I would be contemplating returning to the office full-time, and yet still maintaining a perfect life at home.
Reality Check: Considering the amount of depression that consumed the majority of this year, I doubt I would've survived working full-time no matter the location or situation. Plus, changes continued to happen at my old job, and I’m not sure I would’ve stayed happy with my work. Our finances would be just as bad, if not worse b/c I wouldn't have the time to get my husband's business running smoothly or manage our household budget wisely, and would be paying someone else to help me run the house.
Five Years Ago
Where I was: October 2003—We had just moved to Colorado 6 months prior, and we were living in a dinky duplex in the college area of Fort Collins. We were serving as campus ministers, and enjoying hanging out with the college kids. I was temping for a financial advisor, and had started taking classes at a culinary school. Neither of which were working out well. We had been trying to have a baby for over a year now, and I was really stressed about getting pregnant.
Had it gone my way: I would’ve completed culinary school, and now own my own catering business that focused on the needs of working moms. All the while I would’ve had a baby or two along the way, we would’ve bought a nice house, and not be in debt.
Reality Check: While culinary school was a great learning experience, it wasn’t right. God obviously had other plans, and within a few short months I was working for Group at a job I truly loved. We were blessed with a couple of kids—on God’s time, which is always the right time.
10 Years Ago
Where I was: October 1998—a newly wed for 4 months, and finishing up the first semester of my junior year.
Had it gone my way: We would have moved to Washington State, where I would go on to law school (yep, law school), and Matt would be a successful musician. We would have a couple kids, and I would be a super-mom (hmmmm…do you see a theme here) balancing life as a lawyer and mom.
Reality Check: Ten years ago I had lofty dreams, but no idea where God wanted me or how to get there. I never would’ve even fathomed back then that I would be where I am—AND HAPPY ABOUT IT. So, I can only imagine what life will be like in 10 more years. Praise God it goes HIS WAY instead of my way.