I feel aching inside my womb to be filled with another little spirit. I yearn for pregnancy, labor, and birth. I fantasize of kissing little fingers, cuddling a wee babe, and breathing in the sweet smell of a newborn.
Of course, I can say this right now because my two toddlers are sleeping right now. The house is finally quiet, and I'm enjoying a few moments by myself before my husband gets home. If you ask me during the day if I want more children I would probably laugh at you.
You see I have these bizarre woman hormones--crazy, freaking, hormones that make me want babies, forget about midnight feedings, brush off the worst kind of physical pain as a walk in the park, and ache to rub a round pregnant belly.
This is why I put my husband in full control of our reproductive decision-making. (He has vetoed anymore kiddos--primarily because of my tendency to attempt death by bleeding out after each birth.) He has, ahem, "nipped" it in the bud--so to speak. So, no more babies. It was definitely the right decision for us, but I wish I could turn off these hormones that scream for me to procreate.